Author Topic: Story Chain  (Read 15171 times)

Offline todhunter

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #45 on: August 11, 2007, 09:14:15 AM »
"Did that really happen or was it a dream?" said Kevin. "Dream? That was no dream, replied Dike. "It was a bloody nightmare."
A cold hand touched Dike's shoulder. As he turned to look his stomach retched. The tall figure in front of him with skin like vomit cooly tipped his hat and spoke..."Nightmare, you said"...
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Offline thatollie

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #46 on: August 11, 2007, 09:43:22 PM »
"I'm Horace Nightmare, I believe your friend has met my cousin Dream."

Kevin shuddered at the memory, "Morpheus, with those two shining eyes."
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Offline Mark H

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #47 on: August 12, 2007, 07:19:25 AM »
Horace’s body seemed to shimmer in the sunlight. “My dear friends,” he said to Dike and Kevin, “you have just suffered a terrible injustice.”

“It was horrible,” said Kevin. “I have never seen violence like it.”

“Actually I was referring to that egregious music,” said Horace. “Now if you would be so kind as to accompany me to The Warren, I’m sure we can get everything sorted out in no time at all.”

Un-summoned, a gleaming black limo pulled up at the sidewalk.  Horace opened the rear door and ushered Dike and Kevin inside. By the time the pair were seated, Horace was sat in the front passenger seat, door closed. Dike did a double take; one moment Horace was behind them, the next he was in the limo.

The limo driver drummed his fingers on the wheel, whistling an old Mose Alison jazz classic. Horace nodded silently and the driver pulled out into the traffic.

“Where are you taking us?” Dike asked.

“As I said dear boy,” replied Horace, “to the warren.”

Why the hell did I get into this limo? Dike thought.

As if reading Dike’s thoughts, Horace said, “There is nothing to fear. The procedure is quite painless.”

Dike surreptitiously tried the door handle.

“Locked, I’m afraid, old boy,” said Horace.

“Why do we keep meeting these freaks?” Kevin asked Dike, “Would it be so bad if the story had a few curvaceous, big breasted, chicks in it?”

Horace’s body began to shimmer again, . . .
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Offline todhunter

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #48 on: August 12, 2007, 08:13:24 AM »
as a partition in the limo slowly opened to reveal a large opulent leather bench-seat.
Taking up one half of the seat was the most curvaceous, big breasted chick Kevin had ever laid eyes on. She was somehow squeezed into every woman's ideal `little black dress'.
Her long legs crossed to reveal the dress was the only thing she was wearing. In one hand was a drink Kevin assumed to be a martini by the sight of the olive. The other diamond clad hand reached out to him as if to be kissed...."You must be Kevin"....
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Offline Mark H

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #49 on: August 12, 2007, 12:11:11 PM »
With a supreme effort, Kevin forced himself to look the temptress in the eyes. “Err, call me Kev,” he said pathetically.

“Pleased to meet you Kev. I am Affilia Woodcock,” she said, and then addressing the driver, “Parker, raise the partition; we need a little privacy back here.”

“Yes muh-lady,” said the limo driver.
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Offline todhunter

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #50 on: August 13, 2007, 04:32:18 AM »
Kevin edged over into the soft leather bench seat as the partition closed leaving Dike alone with Horace in the rear. "Affillia could be right", he wispered in her ear, with a bravery he never knew he had.
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Offline Mark H

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #51 on: August 13, 2007, 04:51:20 AM »
Sigh! Squirt! Splash!

“KEVIN! Kevin, will you get out of bed NOW! It’s almost time for school,” Kevin’s mum shouted up the stairs.

THE END

Time for a new thread and some fresh characters?
« Last Edit: October 17, 2007, 11:32:13 AM by Citabria »
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Offline thatollie

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #52 on: August 13, 2007, 07:45:05 PM »
Well, that seems to be the end. Btw, Tod. Wasn't Gerrard's free kick spectacular?
Loved the story, was thinking of starting anew, now I have to.
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Offline todhunter

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #53 on: August 14, 2007, 09:23:54 AM »
Absolutely. He is the engine room and the heart of the team. Without him I doubt we'd make the top six, but with him - this could be our year. I will put my head on the block and say Torres will be Premiere League top scorer with Kuyt giving most assists.

Regarding story, can't wait for new thread.
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Offline thatollie

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #54 on: August 15, 2007, 04:19:34 AM »
He's a player any team would want but with Rafa's teambuilding since 04, I think we'd be able to make top 4 without. [Although we'd be trophyless].

Quote
You know, as if Anfield was like this fairytale castle where everybody lived happily ever after and everybody went round beaming all the time.
« Last Edit: August 15, 2007, 01:50:37 PM by thatollie »
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Offline Mark H

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #55 on: October 17, 2007, 11:31:42 AM »
Citabria: thatollie has done nothing but sulk since this thread ended.

God: Well that’s your fault you tit. Why did you end it so soon?

Citabria: I just wanted to get the wet dream gag in I suppose. Well it’s too late for regrets.

God: Why? You are literary omnipotent on this thread, just go back, delete the words ‘the end’ and add a new scene.

Citabria: What about the drivel they were spouting about football after the final scene.

God: Just ignore it. They were talking shite anyway. Rugby is the sport of the Gods.

Citabria: OK then I will. Just for thatollie’s sake.

God: And for the new kids that are joining. They’d like to play too. See if you can get some girls this time - all this macho bullshit gets wearing after a bit.

Citabria: OK God. Thanks for you help.

God: No probs Tabbie always happy to advise.


Dike elbowed Kevin sharply in the ribs.

“Err, where are we?” Kevin said.

“How the hell can you sleep at a time like this?” said Dike. “We have just been kidnapped by some shimmering maniac and you doze off and start jabbering about feeling someone’s cock!”

“Aphelia Woodcock,” Kevin murmured. “Where is she?”

“Who?” said Dike.

“Aphelia Woodcock”.

“You bloody won’t!” said Dike. “Now pull yourself together.”

Sat in the front seat, Horace turned to face Dike and Kevin. “We're almost at the Warren gentlemen,” he said. He then grinned at them showing a set of shiny, fluorescent green teeth.

"Oh goodie," said Dike
« Last Edit: October 18, 2007, 11:12:16 AM by Citabria »
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Offline DGSquared

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #56 on: October 21, 2007, 08:18:59 PM »
Horace turned to face forward leaving Dike and Kevin to their own imaginations in the back seat of the limousine.
The Mercedes Benz pulled away with a screech, heading out of town at a blistering speed.

“What’s the hurry, there old chap?” Kevin hoped the question might queue the driver to slow the car to a more reasonable pace.
Dike was quick to jump in saying, “Right. It’s not as though we are in a race to get there. The Warren isn’t going anywhere. Is it?”

No response from the front seat. 

The limo was now skidding through turns on a winding road through a dense, lush forest as if being drawn in by some sort of magnetic force. Dike and Kevin were holding on to their perspective door handles for dear life, both with white knuckles, and equally white faces.

Kevin could feel his stomach churning again. “Uh, could we stop the car? I need to get out. I think I’m going to be sick.”
The driver said in a low, menacing voice, “You can get out any time you like but you can never leave.”  An eagle swooped down in front of the car.

As soon as the words left his mouth the car suddenly went careening off the road, going airborne with an incredibly, violent jolt through a wooden fence, over a cliff and finally crashing into a gnarled, old Yew tree bringing the car to an abrupt halt.

“Get out! Get out you moron!” Kevin could hear the voice but had no idea who it was or where it was coming from. He knew it was not Dike.

“Dike! You alright?” Kevin could see blood dripping from Dike’s forehead. Dike didn’t answer.
“Lets get the hell out of here before this thing blows!”

Kevin reached for his door handle but the door was wedged shut. “Dike, let’s go. Now!”
He reached across and opened Dike’s door then began to push Dike out of it with his feet.

Dike crumpled the ground in a heap with a resounding thud and Kevin clamored out over him. He grabbed Dike from behind, under the arms, clasping him around the chest and began pulling him to safety away from the car. A fire had started in the engine and was rapidly engulfing the limo.

Dike was disoriented and confused, “Wha...what happened?”

The two figures in the mangled front end of the car were slouched over the dashboard, apparently dead. A ghostly, floating image began to arise from the driver and another came out over the top of the roof of the car that by now was completely consumed by the flames.

The ghostly figures had on black suits and hats. They wore dark sunglasses and looked amazingly like the Blues Brothers.
Figuring he was probably hallucinating, Dike wiped the blood from his eye and halfway jokingly said to Kevin, “Hey look it’s Dan Akroyd and John Belushi!”

Before Kevin could respond, the taller of the two figures said, “We’re on a mission from God.”

Kevin closed his eyes; half relieved and half terrified now that he knew he was not the only one seeing this vision.
“Oh great, that explains everything then,” Kevin said sarcastically.

“Wait, I have a question,” said Dike. “I can see John Belushi as a guardian angel but Dan, you aren’t dead yet.”

“The Lord works in mysterious ways, my friend,” said the Dan Akroyd.

“Come on, we got to go,” said The Belushi, “Follow us.”

Music seemed to come from nowhere as the two figures began to sing and dance to the song, Soul Man.

The Blues Brothers figures beaconed for Dike and Kevin to follow and they complied.
 
They danced through the forest lightheartedly, having forgotten the earlier ordeals of the day.

After about an hour, the foursome was standing in a clearing and could see a woman with an ethereal light glide from behind a beautiful waterfall. She was wearing a tiara.

She spoke, her voice sounding like a chorus of angels, “Hello boys. My name is Harobed. Welcome to Atoka.”

The Akroyd spoke, “Harobed, this is Dike and Kevin.” Then he whispered, “You know, the Nollids.”

She shook her head in disbelief, “No, no, no! You were told to bring a spike from heaven, not a Dike and Kevin!”
« Last Edit: October 22, 2007, 02:19:12 AM by DGSquared »
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Offline thatollie

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #57 on: October 22, 2007, 06:04:10 AM »
Dike, relieved, went to walk away, "If you want someone else, then I guess we'd better leave you to it. Come on Kevin, that whatever it was we were doing beforehand isn't going to finish itself."

Harobed flew over his head, blocking escape, "What you were doing before is over. You must join us in our mission."

"Can't God do all of this?"

She laughed. Then her face was as cold as the other side of Dike's bed, "God's power has it's limits. HE cannot overwork himself, HE's still recovering from saving you monkeys from your Nuclear insanity."
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Offline Mark H

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #58 on: October 22, 2007, 03:33:00 PM »
The bint in the tiara cleared her throat and addressed the singing duo, “Jake Elwood; you’re lightweights – you’re fired!”

She turned back to Dike and Kevin, “I need your help lads.”

“Frankly my dear,” said Dike, “I don’t give a rats arse. It’s been about 12 hours since I had a drink and I’m getting tetchie!”

“Come on Dike, this could be fun,” said Kevin.

“Kevin you’re a pillock!” said Dike. “You go with the bimbo with the tiara and I’ll …” He paused and thought for a moment then, “Hang on a minute … tiara, tiara, that rings a bell.”

“Oh Dikey, I think you’re on to something,” shouted Kevin.

Before Kevin could continue Dike happy-slapped him hard across the side of his head.

“Ouch!” whined Kevin, “What was that for?”

“Do not, I mean seriously, do not call me Dikey.”

“OK, but Mr Smurf said something about the tiara heist. Coincidence? I think not.”

Dike and Kevin stared at each other.

The bint with the silly name took a step towards Dike and Kevin, “You two are back on the job,” she said.

With that she reached behind her head and pulled off a full head mask and wig revealing …

“Mr Smurf!” shouted Kevin, “but you’re dead.”

“It takes more than a zombie and a mere decapitation to kill me lad,” said Smurf. “Now help me get the fluck out of this mother flucking dress. Dike, I’ll need your clothes.”

“Why me?” asked Dike.

“Well young Kev here as shat himself twice so far in this escapade and so that sort of rules his kecks out of the equation as far as I’m concerned; and you’re the only other option. Hand over the Armanis mother flucker.”
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Offline thatollie

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Re: Story Chain
« Reply #59 on: October 22, 2007, 03:43:16 PM »
Dike, knowing that humiliation was imminent, tried to figure out Smurf's weakness as he undressed as slowly as possible. I know, he reached inside his jacket and pulled out a plate of brownies.

"Oh," said Smurf, "let me have one of those."

He pushed the plate forward, Smurf grabbed a piece with his sweaty, blue hands.

"GHAGH." The demented Smurf began to convulse on the ground. Dike stepped forward and tore the mask away.

He laughed, "it's only Citabria, attempting to get back into the Station. I should have known from the start."

"What did you give him?" Asked Kevin.

"Beef."

The End
« Last Edit: October 22, 2007, 03:44:48 PM by thatollie »
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