Author Topic: Monologue  (Read 3647 times)

Offline Sasha6

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« on: January 02, 2007, 10:16:49 PM »
I wrote this pretty quick to for an All State thespian comptition. Tell me what you think!

(A woman sits on the floor holding a doll tightly to her bosom. She's rocking herself back and forth.)
Woman: (Whispers) Damn you John. (Yells) Damn you! Why? You took my most precious possetion. You took my baby! You deserved what you got. And now they call me the murderer. I saw you standing over her body. I saw the gun in your hand. You're the murderer, not I! Would you have killed me too if I had given you the chance? Would you have aimed that gun to my chest and pulled the trigger? You did it! You killed her!(In a lowered voice.) They say I shot you both. They tell me I'm crazy. But I know the truth. And the only thing I have left is her doll. The only thing I can remember my child by! (Chokes and looks to heaven.) Oh God why? Have I not done what you've wanted of me? Why did you let him kill her? (Screams) Where were you when he pulled the trigger? (Crying and rocking furoiusly) Oh my baby. My poor, poor child. I'm sorry. I should have been there to stop him. (Stops and looks into the distance, her eyes glassy.) Deseret? I hear you baby. I hear you. (Motions with her hand.) Come to moma. I'll sing you to sleep. (Starts to lay down as she pulls the doll close to her like it is her child. She sings a French lullaby "Au Clair de la Lune.)
        Au clair de la lune,
        Mon ami, Pierrot,
        Prêtemoi ta plume
        Pour écrire un mot!
        Ma chandelle est morte,
        Je n'ai plus de feu;
       Ouvremoi ta porte, (whsipers last line and closes her eyes.)
       Je suis très peureux!
My significant other is myself, which is what happens when you suffer from self-obsession and multiple personalities.

Offline songay

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Re: Monologue
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2007, 10:41:19 PM »
Very nice, Sasha.   It flows

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: Monologue
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2007, 03:35:41 PM »
Very visual Sasha.  Your words painted the woman and her pain, making it clear to any who read.

Good job.
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The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

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Offline helenamac

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Re: Monologue
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2007, 07:13:44 PM »
Very visual and so... emotional, well done  :)

Offline diayana

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Re: Monologue
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2007, 09:55:54 AM »
Very well, Sasha, you made it descriptive enough that I could feel that was there at that very moment. And also very emotional

-Diayana :)

Offline jermy565

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Re: Monologue
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2007, 01:30:06 AM »
Brilliant! It is very emotional and that makes for a good monologue!
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