Author Topic: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content  (Read 501455 times)

Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3720 on: July 04, 2018, 09:16:25 AM »
News: "Boy George's reptile bites 5 people in one day."

He needs a calmer chameleon.
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Offline Mark T

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3721 on: July 04, 2018, 05:02:26 PM »

African bush ranger type character turns up at a small lake full of a skinny-dipping cheerleader team neck deep in the water. 
"Go away!" shouts the cheerleader leader.
"I will," says the ranger, "as soon as I've fed the crocodiles."   

Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3722 on: November 30, 2018, 09:35:57 PM »
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to
other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 a.m., the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, 'Ma'am,
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get
me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' she replied, 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married'.
'Wow! That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.
'Good,' she replied, 'Get your own f...ing blanket!'
After a moment of silence, he farted.
The End
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Offline Vienna

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3723 on: March 27, 2019, 05:32:19 AM »
Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"


_________________________________________________________

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in ‘unt?’” Only one word leaps to mind. “My goodness,” thinks the gentleman, “I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word.” The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, “I think the word you're looking for is ‘aunt.’” “Of course,” says the Pope. “Do you have an eraser?”
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Offline nosuchmember

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3724 on: March 27, 2019, 10:07:33 AM »
A man who  talks filth in front of another's child,
while covering the ears of his own -isn't much of a man
or father. -Jan Tetstone

A reminder that young children visit MWC. And regardless of labelling a post as vulgar -nasty- adult content ,such posts do show on 'most recent posts.'

It's a shame that some posters post things here that they wouldn't write on paper ,and give to their own child to read.

Limerick Addicts/ Go for it, be creative. Possible Adult/Sexual language.
This is another  thread that don't belong in the public domain.......  Jan

« Last Edit: March 27, 2019, 10:30:45 AM by heartsongjt »

Offline Vienna

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3725 on: March 27, 2019, 10:32:53 AM »
there is a warning and that was always enough! You think you are some kind of maoral apostle right, soon you will walk the boards alone mumbling to yourself. You seem to have got rid of everybody else.
Just a well-read punk peasant

Going to church makes you a christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!

Offline nosuchmember

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3726 on: March 27, 2019, 10:48:12 AM »
there is a warning and that was always enough! You think you are some kind of maoral apostle right, soon you will walk the boards alone mumbling to yourself. You seem to have got rid of everybody else.

Vienna, I have read the beginnings of those two boards. There's no post that reflects your, apparent, mindset ...that it's okay to post filth that young MWC members could possibly read. There was much more respect shown when these two threads began.

I am a person whose parents taught to have values, and always respect  others-until they proved they weren't  worthy of my respect.

People have choices to make everyday-whether or not to visit or post on MWC boards is one of them.




Offline Vienna

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3727 on: March 27, 2019, 12:55:33 PM »
There are a lot of what you call filthy jokes or innuendo on here. I have no desire to argue with a person that is set on ruining this Circle, so like many others that i still have contact with i will not post again. You dont need to comment on this as i will not reply.
Just a well-read punk peasant

Going to church makes you a christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!

Offline nosuchmember

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3728 on: March 27, 2019, 01:02:21 PM »
There are a lot of what you call filthy jokes or innuendo on here. I have no desire to argue with a person that is set on ruining this Circle, so like many others that i still have contact with i will not post again. You dont need to comment on this as i will not reply.

Thank God!

Offline Dwin

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3729 on: May 30, 2019, 08:03:07 AM »
But I will  ;D 'Vienna for President'

An American author decides towrite a book about the churches and cathedrals of Europe, so of course he needs to go to Europe to do research. His first stop is the Vatican and on his tour round he notices a big golden telephone on the wall with a sign above saying 'Twenty thousand dollars direct line to God'. He asks one of the nearby priests what it's all about and the priest replies, " it's true, pay Twenty Thosand dollars and you've got a direct line to the big G himself".

Every church and cathedral he goes to during his travels through France, Belgium, Holland, Germany etc he finds the same golden telephone with the same sign. It gets to the point where he decides to go back to the states to write his book but then he realises that he's not been to the UK. So, after getting a flight over he finds himself in a little village church in North Yorkshire. Sure enough same big golden telephone on the wall but the sign above reads '20p direct line to God'. He says to the Vicar, "everywhere else that I've been it has always been 'Twenty Thousand Dollars direct line to God'. Why is it only 20p here?".

The Vicar replies "Here its only a local call"  ;D

Offline DGSquared

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3730 on: August 09, 2019, 04:29:13 AM »
But I will  ;D 'Vienna for President'

An American author decides towrite a book about the churches and cathedrals of Europe, so of course he needs to go to Europe to do research. His first stop is the Vatican and on his tour round he notices a big golden telephone on the wall with a sign above saying 'Twenty thousand dollars direct line to God'. He asks one of the nearby priests what it's all about and the priest replies, " it's true, pay Twenty Thosand dollars and you've got a direct line to the big G himself".

Every church and cathedral he goes to during his travels through France, Belgium, Holland, Germany etc he finds the same golden telephone with the same sign. It gets to the point where he decides to go back to the states to write his book but then he realises that he's not been to the UK. So, after getting a flight over he finds himself in a little village church in North Yorkshire. Sure enough same big golden telephone on the wall but the sign above reads '20p direct line to God'. He says to the Vicar, "everywhere else that I've been it has always been 'Twenty Thousand Dollars direct line to God'. Why is it only 20p here?".

The Vicar replies "Here its only a local call"  ;D
I thought that telephone line was at our country church in Blueridge, WV. It was on a party-line. Does anyone remember the party-line before it was an 800 number? :-D
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Offline DGSquared

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3731 on: August 09, 2019, 04:38:38 AM »

It's a shame that some posters post things here that they wouldn't write on paper ,and give to their own child to read.
 Jan

 
Seriously? Give me a break! Think of how many excellent books wouldn't have been written if everyone had to show everything they've ever written to their kids. I can't even . . .  Who does this?



A man who  talks filth in front of another's child,
while covering the ears of his own -isn't much of a man
or father. -Jan Tetstone

A reminder that young children visit MWC. And regardless of labelling a post as vulgar -nasty- adult content ,such posts do show on 'most recent posts.'

It's a shame that some posters post things here that they wouldn't write on paper ,and give to their own child to read.

Limerick Addicts/ Go for it, be creative. Possible Adult/Sexual language.
This is another  thread that don't belong in the public domain.......  Jan





If you are letting your young children into a writer's forum, you might want to have your head examined. I have never, in the 12 years of being a member here, ever seen a young child on these boards. What young children want to hang out with adults in a writer's forum? None. Kids have better things to do.
Trust me Jan, no kids want to hang out in an adult writer's forum. If you are forcing your kids or grandkids, or any kids to hang out on the internet and read everything you write, I feel sorry for those kids. Take them to the park. There may be a slight chance of a very mature, curious eleven-year-old, wandering on to the site, maybe, but they aren't being very well supervised then, are they? Even so, they won't know what it all means until 3rd to 6th grade.

You should see the stuff they read in school these days. Now there's a job for you. Go the the elementary school library and volunteer to screen the words written by the writers in the books they have on the shelves for children to read.


There is no nice way to say this but it needs to be said because the mods aren't reeling you in . . .  For the love of God, Jan, please get off your sanctimonious high-horse. We are all fed up. No one is forcing you to read these things you go on about finding so offensive. It's a friggin' writer's forum, at least it used to be before everyone got sick of being berated or censured. If you don't like it, you can leave. Stop patrolling the boards and scolding or arguing with people. You're pushing people away. We get it. You're a perfect, do-no-wrong, innocent, church-lady who's writing is glorious. Maybe you should consider finding a nice religious writer's forum where you'll be happy.


I'm sorry. It's been one of those days and that's just the way I feel. This is the Crap Joke Thread. Literal sh*t. It was doing fine before you got here. You are the first and only person to complain about this in how many pages and posts? Do you realize how many years of laughter and camaraderie have been provided in these pages?

~Deb


« Last Edit: August 09, 2019, 05:41:15 AM by DGSquared »
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every passerby leaves a mark. -Chinese proverb

Blondesplosion! ~Deb

Offline timewatcherjt

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3732 on: August 12, 2019, 09:10:21 AM »

 
Seriously? Give me a break! Think of how many excellent books wouldn't have been written if everyone had to show everything they've ever written to their kids. I can't even . . .  Who does this?



If you are letting your young children into a writer's forum, you might want to have your head examined. I have never, in the 12 years of being a member here, ever seen a young child on these boards. What young children want to hang out with adults in a writer's forum? None. Kids have better things to do.
Trust me Jan, no kids want to hang out in an adult writer's forum. If you are forcing your kids or grandkids, or any kids to hang out on the internet and read everything you write, I feel sorry for those kids. Take them to the park. There may be a slight chance of a very mature, curious eleven-year-old, wandering on to the site, maybe, but they aren't being very well supervised then, are they? Even so, they won't know what it all means until 3rd to 6th grade.

You should see the stuff they read in school these days. Now there's a job for you. Go the the elementary school library and volunteer to screen the words written by the writers in the books they have on the shelves for children to read.


There is no nice way to say this but it needs to be said because the mods aren't reeling you in . . .  For the love of God, Jan, please get off your sanctimonious high-horse. We are all fed up. No one is forcing you to read these things you go on about finding so offensive. It's a friggin' writer's forum, at least it used to be before everyone got sick of being berated or censured. If you don't like it, you can leave. Stop patrolling the boards and scolding or arguing with people. You're pushing people away. We get it. You're a perfect, do-no-wrong, innocent, church-lady who's writing is glorious. Maybe you should consider finding a nice religious writer's forum where you'll be happy.


I'm sorry. It's been one of those days and that's just the way I feel. This is the Crap Joke Thread. Literal sh*t. It was doing fine before you got here. You are the first and only person to complain about this in how many pages and posts? Do you realize how many years of laughter and camaraderie have been provided in these pages?

~Deb




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Offline Dwin

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3733 on: August 14, 2019, 05:19:55 AM »
There is always one, now there seems to be two. For those that think everyone is out of step and need to be brought back into line, look in a mirror. Freedom of speach is a fundemental right for all writers. We may not always agree with one another but there is no room for censorship.

The minimum age for this site would appear to be 16 years, you can only sign the agreement posted above if you are over 16!

My knoweledge about sexually activity and bad language was almost complete by 14 and I led a sheltered life.

If anyone wants to argue with me over religion lets find the proper website for our battleground, this is not the place!

This is a writing forum which should cater for the majority of people, commited to thier writing for whatever reason. We should be helping emerging writers with advice and encouragement, not with some of the claptrap i've seen here.

Like so many others before me, leaving this forum has crossed my mind due a minority of childish spoilers. However, when I think about it I've never liked bullies, and that is what these people are!