Author Topic: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content  (Read 468564 times)

Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3615 on: August 27, 2017, 04:45:57 PM »
It's impossible to edit if you and your author aren't on the same page.
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Offline Vienna

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3616 on: August 30, 2017, 03:12:55 PM »
The irish knock knock joke?

You start........
Just a well-read punk peasant

Going to church makes you a christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!

Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3617 on: September 02, 2017, 06:49:36 AM »
Wife texts her handy husband on a cold winter morning:
"WINDOWS FROZEN ~ WON'T OPEN"

Husband texts back:
"GENTLY POUR SOME WARM WATER OVER THE EDGES AND THEN TAP EDGES SHARPLY WITH HAMMER"

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"LAPTOP REALLY BUGGERED NOW!"
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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3618 on: September 02, 2017, 06:50:48 AM »
True story. I was telling my wife how to do something on the computer a couple of years ago and I actually said, "Press the carriage return." And she knew what I meant.
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Offline Gyppo

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3619 on: September 03, 2017, 01:30:52 PM »
Quote from a advert on a military surplus website.

Genuine Used Female Parade Shoes

Do military virgins wear different shoes, or perhaps even have their own segregated parades?
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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3620 on: September 04, 2017, 01:53:57 PM »
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3621 on: September 04, 2017, 01:56:09 PM »
Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?
They don't have any attachments.
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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3622 on: September 05, 2017, 02:29:23 PM »
Q: What do you call an author without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
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Offline Gyppo

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3623 on: September 05, 2017, 03:00:20 PM »
Q: What do you call an author without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

They say the same about jugglers ;-)

=====

A man tells his neighbour he's quit work to become a full time writer.

"That's great.  Have you sold anything yet?"

"Yes, loads.  My car, the wife's fur coats, the kids expensive mountain bikes..."

===
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3624 on: September 05, 2017, 04:54:37 PM »
Q: What's the difference between a PhD in English and a large pizza?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3625 on: September 06, 2017, 06:53:48 AM »
Q: What's the difference between a golf ball and a woman's G spot?
A: A man will spend 10 minutes looking for a golf ball.
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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3626 on: September 06, 2017, 12:02:29 PM »
Q: Why can't a pony sing?
A: Because it's a little horse.
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Offline Laura H

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3627 on: September 06, 2017, 08:01:17 PM »
Q: What's the difference between a PhD in English and a large pizza?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

I'll be sharing that one.
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Offline Vienna

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3628 on: September 07, 2017, 07:41:47 AM »
why did the Bull rush?

it saw the Cow slip.
Just a well-read punk peasant

Going to church makes you a christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!

Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3629 on: September 07, 2017, 10:07:11 AM »
Q: Why did the cowboy get a dachshund?
A: Because he wanted to get a long little doggie.
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