Author Topic: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content  (Read 494220 times)

Offline Gyppo

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3600 on: August 15, 2017, 05:44:17 PM »
Did you know that Taco Cat spelled backwards is Taco Cat?

How could I have existed without knowing this?  My life is now complete ;-)
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Offline Gyppo

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3601 on: August 15, 2017, 05:54:41 PM »
"Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a Spider can."

He eats flies?

I bet he leaves that off his dating profile.
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Offline DGSquared

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3602 on: August 16, 2017, 09:00:52 AM »
What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?














SNOWBALLS!
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Offline Gyppo

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3603 on: August 16, 2017, 09:35:05 AM »
An on-line friend of mine, an otherwise very respectable Mormon Lady, went out one wintery night with a friend, a sack of carrots, and sense of equality.  In the morning it was obvious which were snowmen and which were snow women.  Some of her community were amused, others less so.
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Offline Gyppo

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3604 on: August 16, 2017, 05:12:29 PM »
A Spiritualist is giving a talk at a meeting hall in Bodmin, Cornwall.  He asks the audience if any of them have any experience with ghosts

"That I have!"  Cousin Janner jumps up and down waving his arms around in excitement.

"And what was the nature of this experience, Sir?"

"I often had sexual intercourse with 'em."

"You've had intercourse with ghosts?"

Janner sinks back into his chair, looking embarrassed.

"Sorry.  I thought you said Goats."
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3605 on: August 17, 2017, 03:22:16 AM »
... Which reminds me of the story of John on the mountain.

A young reporter seeking a human interest story was advised to visit a man who lived half-way up a mountain but was nonetheless the mainstay of life in the small town at its foot.  Only one thing puzzled the journalist: the name he was told to ask for.

So when he knocked on the cabin door and a man answered, he asked, somewhat doubtfully, "Are you John the...um...?"

He was saved further embarrassment by the man giving a world-weary sigh and nodding.  "That's right, son."  But instead of asking him inside, John took his visitor to the edge of his garden where it overlooked the little town and the bay beyond.

"See that harbour?" he said.  "Half the boats in it came from my boat-yard.  The other half I've refurbished at one time or another.  But do they call me John the Boat-Builder?  They do not."

He turned the reporter through a few degrees.  "You see the town?  There isn't a house in it that I haven't either built or done maintenance work on.  They'd all be living in cardboard boxes if it wasn't for me.  But do they call me John the Builder?

"And - ah yes, there we go - you see those cars in the petrol station?  Twice every year, I service every one of them.  One of them breaks down, I go out and fix it, morning, noon or night.  But do they call me John the Motor Mechanic?  No.

"And then," he added bitterly, "you shag one lousy sheep..."

Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3606 on: August 18, 2017, 03:08:32 PM »
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Nacho.
Nacho who?
Nacho business.
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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3607 on: August 19, 2017, 12:18:53 PM »
Have you ever noticed that a legal brief never is?
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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3608 on: August 21, 2017, 07:49:14 PM »
Don't let bad writing #eclipse your message. (groan...)
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Offline spadanco

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3609 on: August 21, 2017, 08:39:09 PM »
The information available was very useful

Offline DGSquared

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3610 on: August 25, 2017, 01:12:38 AM »
My boys and I drove up to Salem, Oregon to watch the eclipse in totality. My youngest son quipped, "Wouldn't it be a funny joke on humanity if the moon just stopped there and never moved again?"



This had me thinking. I'll bet there was at least one person who asked the question, "What if it's only a quarter moon during a total solar eclipse?"

Not a joke really but it sure got a laugh out of one onlooker when I brought it up.

Does this make the case for, "He who laughs the loudest has probably done that of which he laughs loudly about?"

Absurdity in motion.

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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3611 on: August 25, 2017, 10:13:32 AM »
A lot of people don't seem to know this, but you have the right to remain silent even when you're not being arrested.
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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3612 on: August 26, 2017, 06:00:47 AM »
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that.
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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3613 on: August 26, 2017, 06:06:46 AM »
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints.
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Offline Michael Edits

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Re: The Crap Joke Thread / Adult Content
« Reply #3614 on: August 26, 2017, 06:14:44 AM »
Why does a chicken coop have two doors? If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
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