Thank you so much for you feedback!! I really appreciate it and need all the help I can get!
Also sorry for the confusion! This is a Sterek fan fiction and I am writing this in the character Stiles Stilinski's POV from the show TeenWolf. I will make sure to include this in my post so I don't confuse anyone else in the future! Thank you for pointing this out!
To clarify, I copy and pasted the scenes I needed help with so hopefully that helps explains why there is a lack of structure.
The first scene in Stiles POV begins with the police dispatch call made through a police scanner that he over hears. He hears the police code for death and pages in to his partner Jax Taylor using a walkie talkie.
The second scene is Stiles arriving to a crime scene where the victim is his case partner Jax. Officer Vega fills him in and explains the scene of the crime.
I don't have a criminal justice back ground at all so I am looking for help with how to portray all this information to the reader while also using the accurate terminology.
I can see how the exchange between FBI agent Stiles and Officer Vega comes off like they are cardboard characters but since they are strangers and professionals on the job I wanted dialogue that emphasized this distinction.
I'm just not sure how to phrase it any other way without it coming off unprofessional so if you have any suggestions there I would love to hear them!
I researched police codes and their meanings to create the scene Stiles has with the police scanner as well as forensic terminology for the crime scene. My goal being to accurately relay all this information like in real life scenarios.
I am open to any and all corrections you would like for me to make and will be updating this post as I get more feedback. Once again, thank you for replying to me! I look forward to hearing back from you!
