Author Topic: feedback needed for just this marketing section of my proposal  (Read 1380 times)

Offline Hollie

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 20
From the girl who wrote: I'm Not a Groupie, I'm IN the Band! The Real Life Adventures of a Female Musician. Below is just this one section of my proposal. Please. not only give me your overall opinion but note any mistakes ect... This is written using the guidelines of the agent my editor referred me to.

Here goes:

The Market and Competition
   
   Probably 99.9% of every adult has found him or herself at a bar, casino, wedding or other occasion and witnessed a band playing a song from the past or one heard yesterday on the local top 40 station. Musicians have a unique lifestyle that many people fantasize as special and glamorous. It seems everyone has a little fire inside that daydreams of singing up on stage. Why else is Karaoke so popular? This book is for them. It tells the truth in everyday language while also teaching the reader the industry lingo. While men will enjoy learning about the inside workings of cover bands, this book will primarily grab the attention of women in all walks of life and will especially appeal to women ages 20-55. The story relates to women who have tried or are trying to find their way through life. From stumbling in a career choice to believing that true love is just around the corner.
   
   A female musician's life is still an under-published subject and there is little direct competition. It will not compete with your latest "memoir" by a young Hollywood actress/pop singer/small dog owner. This is not a Hollywood fantasy that is unreachable. As the reader turns- the- pages they will see a story of a person who is like them, but just happened to live a strange and unique life.


   
   With the popularity of reality television shows, it should not be a surprise to anyone that there is an appeal to watch and learn about the not-so-famous. This trend can be found in the publishing world as well. In recent years, countless true-life memoirs have been published from non-household names living in a world the general public has a curiosity about. For example: A exotic dancer, (Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper by Diablo Cody -Gotham  2005 - published in 7 different countries) a secret life that most know little about, and the kiss and tell stories of an actual Groupie. (I'm with the Band: Confessions of a Groupie by Pamela Des Barres- Chicago Review Press; Updated edition 2005. A best seller first published in 2002 and has been updated with new editions twice. Ms. Des Barres has a huge following and has appeared on countless TV shows.) The possible closest competition would be the just released memoir of a female singer, (Everything I'm Cracked Up To Be: A Rock and Roll Fairy Tale by Jen Trynin -Harcourt 2006. Debuted at #7 - Boston Globe.) which has like content, such as circumstances, adult language and lingo to I'm Not a Groupie, however her story has a different attitude and a very different journey.  I'm Not a Groupie will complement these books and reach a similar audience.

    The humorous style of I'm Not a Groupie, will also attract readers that enjoy a sense of humor about one's life while being informative about a career choice. ("You'll Never Nanny in This Town Again: The True Life Adventures of a Hollywood Nanny- by Suzanne Hansen -Crown 2005.) Even a fan of a fiction novel, ("How to Sleep with a Movie Star" by Kristin Harmel -Warner Books. Released February 2006 and at all major book retailers) yet based on the author's real life career will find this book hard to put down. It's clear that the buying public enjoys the chance to go behind closed doors and learn about a lifestyle so different from their own. I'm Not a Groupie flows with humor and truth and still stands out as fresh and inviting.
 





Offline orchid15

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 344
    • Leona's Happy place
Re: feedback needed for just this marketing section of my proposal
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2006, 02:26:04 PM »
I have never written or read a proposal, but here is what I felt.

I liked it.  It flowed well, like a well designed essay, which I think might be just what you want-  you are writing an essay to convince the editor that your idea is marketable.

so I think it is fairly good.  I hesitate to say more, because I just don't know enough about what editors want.

orchid15 ;D
"The beautiful part of writing is that you don't havto get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon." Robert Cormier
 

website: www.leonashappyplace.com    newsletter:Leonas BrainCandy

Offline Linda Aitchison

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 895
    • A little bit about me x
Re: feedback needed for just this marketing section of my proposal
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2006, 04:42:20 PM »
I think you need to be a lot more succinct and that it really should not read like an essay. You need to be really direct as to who will need to read this book and why people will feel they have to buy it. I'm sorry but the first paragraph baffles me - just because someone watches a band doesn't mean they'll be queuing up to buy a book about what it's like to be in one. "Probably 99.9% of every adult" reads wrong - do you mean nearly all adults? When you say 'small dog owner' you sound like you are trying to be irreverent/witty or whatever - but that's not what's needed to sell a book.
<a href="http://www.freelancewritingtips.com">"Currently updating and adding to my book on freelance writing</a>

Offline Hollie

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 20
Re: feedback needed for just this marketing section of my proposal
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2006, 07:54:55 PM »
Thank you both. I do agree about the lines that are not needed or do not fit. It's so tough, you just don't see it until someone else points it out. That's why it's great that this site is here, to offer feedback.
I have a book club meeting coming up Tuesday night. I'll try to have my re-write done by the time I take it there.

Thank you again!
Hollie