Author Topic: The opening to an unpublished novel I started a while back  (Read 213 times)

Offline DV

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 9
The opening to an unpublished novel I started a while back
« on: March 25, 2022, 08:19:52 PM »
.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2022, 12:00:43 PM by DV »

Offline Clarius

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1608
Re: The opening to an unpublished novel I started a while back
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2022, 05:13:16 AM »
IMO more telling than showing. This reads more like your own notes than the narrative you'd spin out of them.

Making your protagonist a career criminal is a hard sell. She'll either have to be an antihero or a Robin Hood. Antiheroes story arc usually ends with them redeeming themselves by an act of self sacrifice. Think anyone from Sydney Carton (A Tale of Two Cities) to Walter White (Breaking Bad). Robin Hoods are easier but need careful handling lest they come over as too self-righteous. And whoever she steals from has to have it coming to them otherwise the reader will sympathise with the victim and not the perpetrator.

I get that she's into bikes. How do you show that? I watch a show called American Pickers. Mike et al love their stuff. You can see in the way they react. They smile when they see it, their eyes light up, they approach it with reverence, they handle it with care, they talk about its merits, and they trade anecdotes about it.

Every character needs backstory to explain why they are that character. So here's what I'm thinking if I were coming at this type of scenario.

She grew up in a good neighbourhood. Nuclear family: Mom, Dad, and two kids. Dad's a mechanic. She's a tomboy. She helps him out. That's where her love of all things mechanical comes from. Dad's an upstanding dude, pillar of the local community. Old school type who does what a man's got to do. That's where she gets her values from. Then a criminal element move in and the neighbourhood starts to go downhill. Her Dad tries to do something about it but he gets killed for his trouble. Mom's a basket case, little sis's too young. Protagonist has to step up and bring home the bacon. All she knows is mechanics but she's too young to hold a job. So she has to work on stolen cars for the criminals just so her mom and little sister can survive. Then she meets the person who runs the local youth outreach program. That someone helps her turn her life around. She owes them. As an adult she returns to the neighbourhood after her mom dies to clear/sell their house. She meets her old mentor. Bad news. A ruthless property developer wants to buy the community centre and demolish it to build condos. The community centre is the only hope for the kids in the neighbourhood. The landlord will sell to anyone who has the money but the community group doesn't have the money. She has to help. It's what Dad would have done. She needs to get that money. Her only way to get the money is to steal a valuable motorcycle and sell it to the ruthless property developer. He's a shady type and not too choosy about where he sources his collectibles from. In fact he's in cahoots with the crime lord. Been using crime to depopulate the neighbourhood so he can buy up property on the cheap. The bike is on display at a dealership ran as a money laundering front by the same crime lord who's been dealing drugs and running rackets in her neighbourhood for years.

^ that right there is as synopsis of several chapters worth. The happy days before dad dies, the bad days afterwards, the meeting with the mentor character, the return to the old neighbourhood as an adult, learning about the threat to the community, her setting out to do something about it. You could tell this in real-time as it happens or as flashback when she returns as an adult.

If it were me I'd write a scene where she goes to the dealership posing as a buyer. She pretends to spot the bike and strikes up a conversation with the salesman. In this scene you show her love for and knowledge of bikes. She talks him into starting the bike so she can hear the engine (petrol heads get off on engine noise). She feigns illness to distract the salesman and steals the bike out from under his nose. It's poetic justice. She robs from one scumbag to thwart the other's ambitions. It's a double win. She gets to serve just desserts to both the crime lord who's been ruining her neighbourhood and the property developer who wants to destroy it.

All this is just my own opinion. You know what they say about opinions.

Regards.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2022, 11:47:44 AM by Clarius »
O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us

 - Robert Burns

Offline DV

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 9
Re: The opening to an unpublished novel I started a while back
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2022, 01:23:57 PM »
.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2022, 12:00:12 PM by DV »

Offline liahughes

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 1
    • https://twitter.com/LiaHugh12927715
Re: The opening to an unpublished novel I started a while back
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2022, 04:29:05 AM »
A review is a type of work, the basis of which is a review of a work, a write essay for me, a book, a thesis. In Latin, "recensio" means to review, report, evaluate, or comment on something.

You can't always find a person or organization that will write you a review or feedback on your paper. For example, you need a review from an outside organization for a thesis or dissertation, at least from a PhD candidate. Even if there is a person willing to sign a review, he or she does not always want to be involved in reading your work and then writing a review on it.

In addition, there is a need to get a review on your research article, methodological development or program. At university, you are often asked to write a review of a fiction book.

If you are wondering where to order a review, then you are on the right track. All of these types of reviews can be ordered from me. The cost of a review depends on the type of work the review is being written on. Agree, writing a review for an article of 5 pages and for a methodological development of 80 pages are different things. 

In order to evaluate a review, fill in the form on the page, We will evaluate your work and give an answer within a few minutes of receipt.

The most common type of review that is ordered is a thesis review.

Thesis Review
When the thesis is ready, a review is necessarily written on it from a representative of an outside organization that has a degree in the specialty of the diploma being defended, or simply a certified specialist in a field close to the profile of the student's scientific activity. The review is an official document containing a characteristic and evaluation of the diploma project. The review provides a brief analysis of the thesis, its compliance with the requirements, and describes the identified strengths and weaknesses. Often, the reviewers are managers of enterprises or firms where the pre-diploma internship took place. In this case, a representative of the organization makes a review and certifies it with a seal.

However, in real life students most often write reviews themselves and already with a ready document go to the reviewer who puts the seal of the organization and his signature.

In our company you can order a review with the seal of the organization and the reviewer's signature.

How to write a review for your thesis?
Independent custom writing help review usually does not cause difficulties, because the student will be able to highlight the advantages and disadvantages in his work better than anyone else. When writing a thesis review you should not use boilerplate phrases such as: "good thesis project", "the student conducted voluminous research", "a complex problem was solved", "the work has great practical significance", "the author of the work showed himself from the best side".

The review can be divided into three parts:

The introduction describes the relevance of the topic of the project at this point in time.
The main part describes all the identified strengths and weaknesses in the work. You should describe the positive and negative qualities for each section of the diploma.
The conclusion indicates whether the work is accepted for defense or not, as well as putting a preliminary assessment.

In the review it is very important to indicate the degree of consistency of the text of the thesis with the theme and purpose of the thesis. Next, you should indicate how the topic is relevant and how highly practical your thesis is. Don't spare your imagination - write about the pros and cons of your thesis in detail, don't be afraid to criticize your thesis, of course, in moderation, because the final part is a summary of the approval of your work for the defense. Without flaws, of course, also does not happen thesis, well if very very rarely, so write about the flaws, but minor. such as not very good design, or not very scientific style. Yes. and despite the fact that you know your diploma well, and can write about it a lot and with great love, still a review should not be large. Optimally, if it will not be more than 1-2 pages. 
Some people canít believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first