Author Topic: A thought I had-jt  (Read 60 times)

Offline Heartsongsdiary

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A thought I had-jt
« on: January 09, 2022, 03:47:29 PM »
"Like leafs blown by the wind
Lives of men move."
-
Jan Tetstone
3:35PM January 9, 2022
Be who you are...not everyone will like you but those that matter will. jt

Offline Clarius

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Re: A thought I had-jt
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2022, 05:25:42 PM »
Is it leafs or leaves? Would a comma after leafs (sic) help? Those quibbles aside, it has a compelling simplicity that just lifts it above being merely a trite inspirational quote. Haiku was my first thought. Maybe you could develop it into one; the life cycle of the leaf as simile for that of a man? I believe a lot of classical Haiku were concerned with this trope.
O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us

 - Robert Burns

Offline Heartsongsdiary

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Re: A thought I had-jt
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2022, 07:09:55 PM »
Is it leafs or leaves? Would a comma after leafs (sic) help? Those quibbles aside, it has a compelling simplicity that just lifts it above being merely a trite inspirational quote. Haiku was my first thought. Maybe you could develop it into one; the life cycle of the leaf as simile for that of a man? I believe a lot of classical Haiku were concerned with this trope.

The Toronto Maple Leafs have had their remaining games on the road postponed. The Toronto maple Leafs is the name of a hockey team.

When one sees the words together,in association to the Toronto hockey team, they automatically picture the leafs on Canada's maple trees.

If the team had chosen to follow writing rules the team's name would be " Toronto Maple Leaves." 

Not always do writing rules apply. As you can see.
 

Like leafs blown by the wind
Lives of men move. 

I checked the above in my writing program. and found no correction suggestions.

Like leafs blown by the wind,
Lives of men move. 

Then I put a comma in; and still no correction suggestions.

If I had put a comma in it would have been at the end of the first line.

Either way the two lines if reverse would still make sense.

Lives of men move
Like leafs blown by the wind.

I hope this answers your question. I'm a heartwriter. That's the only excuse
I have for not always following writing rules.

Thank you very much for reading and commenting.     
Jan Tetstone
« Last Edit: January 09, 2022, 07:13:48 PM by Heartsongsdiary »
Be who you are...not everyone will like you but those that matter will. jt

Offline Clarius

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Re: A thought I had-jt
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2022, 02:03:04 AM »
Is this context it's leaves. The origins of the Leafs name is the subject of some debate but in their case the misspelling has been adopted as a proper noun. Re your writing program. Don't rely on technology. It's a grammar checker. It doesn't understand context, meaning, or intention. Poetry is performance art. A comma is a pause: for breath, for effect. If you like tech as much as I do try experimenting with a free on-line text to speech program to see the difference commas make. Google the story of Roger Casement (if you've not familiar with it) to see the difference a comma can make. :) It's all just my own opinion and you know what they say about opinions. ;)
O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us

 - Robert Burns