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Topic: Please review (Read 274 times)
Old Guy
Newbie
Posts: 1
Please review
«
on:
November 20, 2021, 08:39:30 PM »
A Quite Place
A quite place is what I desire.
My walking pace is slow.
I’ve not lost the internal fire.
It raises my ire.
Thus, I began to glow.
Up and down I go.
Hard is the way.
My breath I blow.
Where is my rainbow?
Always at bay.
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PhantomIris
Newbie
Posts: 2
Re: Please review
«
Reply #1 on:
December 08, 2021, 06:49:26 AM »
I really love how simplistic your word choice is, but it conveys so much. The ending with a rainbow being at bay was a very strong note to end on, makes the reader feel that sense of waiting.
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Please review