Author Topic: Strength  (Read 144 times)

Offline Christian Auvray

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Strength
« on: October 21, 2021, 11:31:49 AM »
Every. Single. One of us.
We are tired of dead promises.
We are tired of false hopes and old perspectives.
We are fucking done. And We mean it.
I write for all of those who have had to be strong for any reason.
We don't care anymore about your fancy etiquette.
We don't have time to figure out whether it is polite or not
to exist however we are. If it is appropriate to shout in despair.
Our hearts pump revolutionary fuel through our veins,
and we are racing to save not the planet but our kind.
We make art, we shout, we dare live when many want us dead.

We are snowflakes; you are right. And I am very proud of it.
I am very proud to feel everything to my core, care for my friends,
and care about humanity - As in every single human.
I thrive on the certainty that my heart is made of fire and not of ice.
I want to burn with love! I want to scream in joy!
Enough toughness, hardness, inflexibility
I want a society as tender as a loving hug,
and united as ropes' fibers.
I look at my friends and see family,
I look at my close community, and I see that we are ready.

If you wanted us to be strong like you, I have sad news.
We will never be strong like you because our strength comes from love.
If it depended solely on the ones I love the most and on me, 
no human being would ever have to be strong. At least, not alone.

Offline Desiderio Paz

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Re: Strength
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2021, 09:13:42 PM »
With the passion expressed, I see the possibility of a moving poem. To get there, all traces of prose should be removed. Create feelings when the words are recited. Use repetition, rhyme, alliteration, meter, in small doses throughout to make impressions. Finger-paint with the words until you hear the desired impact.

As part of the editing process, favorite phrases might need to be sacrificed. Let them go for now.  Cut until a sophisticated, appropriate, rawness emerges.