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whip master-revivited
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Topic: whip master-revivited (Read 712 times)
dlp
Full Member
Posts: 136
whip master-revivited
«
on:
June 08, 2021, 03:32:22 PM »
Blithering,
yes blithering.
I am exhumed from the tangled morass
of mundane delusions.
Sweetly I am kissed by the ego-alien.
Megalomaniac !
So twist me gently,
my thrashing whip master.
And twist me again.
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PIA
Newbie
Posts: 2
Re: whip master-revivited
«
Reply #1 on:
June 17, 2021, 05:06:52 PM »
I feel that the last stanza was a missed chance to be a haiku. the 2nd line just needs one more syllable.
I like how (Megalomaniac !) can either refer to the whip master or the person being exhumed and kissed by the ego-alien
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dlp
Full Member
Posts: 136
Re: whip master-revivited
«
Reply #2 on:
July 26, 2021, 08:36:40 PM »
how would you do it. i can't think of a way
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Mark T
Hero Member
Posts: 4097
Re: whip master-revivited
«
Reply #3 on:
November 24, 2021, 04:00:38 PM »
oh my thrashing whip master
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whip master-revivited