Author Topic: Love That I Dreamt Of  (Read 466 times)

Offline Sarthak

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
Love That I Dreamt Of
« on: May 13, 2021, 12:56:04 PM »
Feeling empty in this lonely room,
I slowly drifted off to sleep
and painted your picture as i close my eyes.

I can't exactly remember the things we said to each other
but the feeling persists and the happiness longs.
When the moonlight enters my room on a clear night,
I dream of us confessing our love to one another.

I can't seem to forget the moments we had
and don't want to erase the memory of you.
The nights when I cry myself to sleep,
I dream of you holding my hands.

I have a feeling that I am falling for you,
I feel a little different talking about you,
and I know we live in two different words,
but you are the song that helps me sleep every night.

So even though this love I imagine canít be a reality,
I live through the day and wait for the night,
when itís time to meet you in a world that I created;
in a dream where we are perfect for each other.

Because, you are the love that I dreamt of. 

Note -
1. Constructive criticism and opinions will be appreciated.
2. Thank you in advance for reviewing my poem.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2021, 01:12:34 PM by Sarthak »

Offline matt.1m

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
Re: Love That I Dreamt Of
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2021, 09:03:14 PM »
Hi Sarthark,
Lovely poem, itís universal, heartbreaking yet hopeful. You seem to be great at putting an introspective view and personal viewpoint on the subject is so relative, if i had any criticism is that some of the repetition of words like ďdifferentĒ seem unpurposeful in their repetition, itís just because the words donít add much to image you do so well in creating. I think mainly because aesthetically different isnít pleasing to say or read it adds almost a conjunction in the flow, so I would suggest using it the once then replacing is it with a word with less syllables .