Author Topic: The Edge (Deleted 3/30/21)  (Read 130 times)

Offline Lucky Stars

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The Edge (Deleted 3/30/21)
« on: March 19, 2021, 07:18:06 PM »
Hi everyone,

Thanks for your help with my poem. I have decided to pull it from the site.

« Last Edit: March 30, 2021, 05:21:41 PM by Lucky Stars »

Offline Patrick.G

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  • U can't beat death, but u can beat death in life
Re: The Edge
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2021, 08:59:23 PM »
"Sometimes I wake too early,
wondering if I left your key under the mat."

absolutely love this, it makes the poem relatable and truthful.

Offline crch

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Re: The Edge
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2021, 10:59:43 PM »
Welcome!

I completely understood your poem, and it evoked emotion.

I think the middle of your poem was not as melodic as the beginning and the end. 

Maybe if you break it apart and listen for timing, it would flow easier.

Nice work

Offline Lucky Stars

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Re: The Edge
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2021, 05:14:21 PM »
Thanks for your feedback. It will help me make the poem better. Happy writing!