Author Topic: Help me write a wholesome comedy screenplay  (Read 141 times)

Offline Ishkah

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Help me write a wholesome comedy screenplay
« on: December 30, 2020, 04:55:48 PM »
Hey all, I have a video script of a comedy ethical dialogue I'd love to get feedback on. So its ethical arguments to encourage a big lefty political youtuber into seeing the moral responsibility in going vegan, dressed up in funny way so he'll watch when he's live-streaming.

Itís supposed to be cheesy to make light of the fact he hates talking about veganism. And it's set in the future to imagine his friends Shoeonhead and Hunter have gone vegan.

What edits would you make to the script? How would you make the ethical arguments land best? What jokes and funny verbal flourishes would you include?

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**Title: The Vegan Inception of Vaush**

**Scene 1. Year 2026 Hunter and Shoe are working a food not bombs stall**

Sarah Connor (Terminator 2): June 21st, 2026. Judgement day.

Shoe: Jee it sure is nice to be living a low-impact vegan lifestyle, so massively reducing the harm we cause to other people and animals.

Hunter: I know, at least now I don't have to feel guilty about not wanting to watch that slaughterhouse footage. And it's great to be getting out and directly helping people whilst changing hearts and minds.

Shoe: Yeah there's no way we could reach as many people as guys like Vaush do with his youtube channel and based debate skills, but we all play our part.

Hunter: Totally, and it's great to see all the new people through the doors of the activist resource centre who said they were radicalized by Vaush.

Shoe: For sure, I just wish more of them would join us out here feeding the hungry, talking about our countryís unethical food system and arms sales. But, I guess a lot of them have bought into his line about there being no individual moral responsibility for our consumption under capitalism.

Hunter: Yeah, it's sad too because he understands the importance of going vegan, so if he could just push through that initial period where your taste buds change he could be learning to appreciate so much banging eastern food, plus be a lot healthier and happier for it.

Shoe: What if we invited him to go swimming with us at the beach and get him hooked on being fit and eating well?

[Cut to all the times Vaush has said he hates going outside.]

Shoe and Hunter: No, that won't work.

[Both phones buzz, as they look down they see a breaking news alert: ďBill passes into law guaranteeing free access to previously classified technology which allows people to design and enter others dreams for the radical potential it holds for people to be fully immersed into mind expanding philosophical thought experiments.Ē]

Shoe and Hunter: Bingo.

[1 week later]

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**Scene 2. Hunter and Shoe arrive at Vaush's house**

Hunter: Yo, we've built the sickest dreamscape for you, you down for this challenge?

Vaush: Alright, let's do this.

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**Scene 3. Vaush, Hyena, Conya & Shoe are all in a campervan driving to the beach.**

Shoe: This beach party is gonna be a-mazing.

Conya: Oh shit, Hunter just texted asking if he could get a lift.

Vaush: Aw man, you know how much I hate driving back.

Conya: I know, but you know how skint he is at the moment, so Iím sure he could really use a break from it all.

Vaush: Okay, he is my friend, I wouldn't want to, aha, do a classism by excluding him.

[A few moments later]

Vaush: Yo, my man, howí you doin?

Hunter: I'm good, thanks so much for the ride.

Shoe: Iíve got us covered on the soy sausages for the barbeque.

Hunter: Nice, yeah I havenít had a barbeque in forever. Iíve just been doing a lot of cooking whole foods at home to save money, but Iíve learnt so many new recipes and food cultures.

Vaush: Fair dos, how long did it take for that to settle in?

Hunter: Yeah it definitely wasnít overnight. I mean you know me and Shoe have been getting more into doing street advocacy, but I wouldn't automatically judge someone who was in a bad living situation and didn't have the headspace for it.

Vaush: Oh shit, sounds like you think Iím still on the hook though aha.

Hunter: Aha well I guess I just think we should all be challenging ourselves to make the world a better place. The justification that youíre doing enough already and donít need to change is a fairly standard psychological vice, but obviously one we can out grow.

Vaush: I dunno, I fucking live for dairy, Iím lactose intolerant and I eat so much dairy every day and itís all worth it.

Shoe: Well think of it this way, the same way it would be a small mark against your character if you failed to put the extra effort into showing up for your friends, I think we ought to put that effort into resisting a culture which normalises meat eating.
 
Vaush: Is it really fair to judge someone as morally bad if theyíve been brainwashed by wall to wall advertising telling them meat eating is essential though?

We need to be moving the narrative onto the systemic change we can make. 

(All nod, but thenÖ)

Shoe: But! Would it not be equally dangerous, if we didnít challenge each other to do better?

(Insert funny example, címon man, look at when I stopped you Ö.)

Also, we know all we need is an active enough minority to generate the public will for legislation and food co-ops, on the way to a vegan world. Which will make healthy living choices the norm much faster.

Hunter: I understand that desire for there to be clear lines about what is and isnít a moral obligation, but I think you know you would judge yourself if you stopped caring about anyone outside your circle of family and friends.

Vaush: True, true...

Hunter: Like say you won the lottery tomorrow and spent it all over a weekend on luxury items, you would feel guilty every time you saw a good cause or campaign you could have helped.

Vaush: No doubt...

Hunter:  So, if we can admit we ought to donate some amount of spare cash to campaigns & charities under capitalism at some point in our life because it would help bring about a better world then;

(Vaush looks at Hunter willing him to find the Ďthen statementí)

Hunter: ... we inherently are advocating individuals reduce their harmful consumption under capitalism to have the spare cash to donate to campaigns & charities.

(Vaush looks thoughtful but ready to be persuaded)

Hunter: Therefore itís worth advocating that individuals reduce their harmful consumption and itís worth drawing peopleís attention to which consumer boycotts most effectively help bring about a world with higher total well-being in it, including veganism.

(Vaush, opens mouth to speak but Hunter presses on)

Hunter: But, if you need to experience that intuition for yourself, here goes, computer run scenario 2.

Vaush: Wait, what?

----

**Scene 4: Vaush experiences winning the lottery and spending it all on a weekend bender**

BLM: You wasted all your winnings while people out here are dying?

---

**Scene 5: Exits dreamscape and is back home**

Vaush: (Forehead sweating) Alright, Iím convinced, Iíll go vegan.

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**Writing Process**

Needs more memes for laughs.

I could try to find a way to include this hypothetical as another dream level but itís pretty long already:

If a man lived his whole life from birth to the age of 50 in a vegan socialist commune, being a wildlife vet and left to do a talk for 1 day and had the choice of buying a bacon sandwich from a wage labour deli or vegan sandwich from a worker co-op, before returning to the commune to live out the rest of his life, then; it would be okay for their friends to ask why he chose to do the unethical act, drawing attention to his individual responsibility because there was zero to negligible alienation or social conditioning clouding his opinion.

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**Video Editing Process**

Iíll have to use a tonne of voice edits, copying a bunch of video automatic transcripts into a word doc, then pressing Ctrl+F for long matching sentences with the script, marking the time stamp and clipping them out in order of sequence once Iíve found them all.

For video footage Iíll need to find a way to use head cutouts motion tracked over the top of movie clips or something.

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Offline bailish

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Re: Help me write a wholesome comedy screenplay
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2021, 01:14:22 PM »
I had a hard time following this. I'd recommend adding some action. All you have is location.

Offline Ishkah

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Re: Help me write a wholesome comedy screenplay
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2021, 01:50:35 PM »
I had a hard time following this. I'd recommend adding some action. All you have is location.

It's going to be head cut outs on movie clips like the campervan scene in Little Miss Sunshine, so it's going to depend a lot on what scenes I can find with the right number of characters, wide shots and scene length, etc. So first I'm just looking to make sure I've got the ethical arguments down in an accessible dialogue without losing the philosophical gravitas.

« Last Edit: January 02, 2021, 01:57:02 PM by Ishkah »