nick daws blog
writers fm radio
tools for writers
Home
Help
Login
Register
My Writers Circle
»
Poets Corner
»
Review My Poetry
»
Brackish Reinvention
« previous
next »
Print
Pages: [
1
]
Author
Topic: Brackish Reinvention (Read 168 times)
Royal Kumari
Full Member
Posts: 152
Brackish Reinvention
«
on:
December 05, 2020, 01:55:07 AM »
Downbeat lost lives gain compliance.
Adorn cloak to hide roads travelled;
animals glance square in the eye.
Showing up a stranger leaving a stranger;
moral bewilderment.
Pupils dilate magnetic realms of black ink.
Spoke, said regret;
self-loathed lost chance.
Notice grain in fiber of being.
Mere hope smallest bird pushed out,
twists and writhes,
finds a worm for itself.
«
Last Edit: December 05, 2020, 02:33:14 AM by Royal Kumari
»
Logged
Cliff Sombito
Newbie
Posts: 17
A newbie writer... A nobody...
Re: Brackish Reinvention
«
Reply #1 on:
December 17, 2020, 11:02:04 AM »
I like the way that the fourth stanza finishes the poem, it's like comparing the bird to me, to us and we are all out there seeking our worms.
The second stanza was a good one, seeing we're all strangers, it makes no drama.
Logged
Mark T
Hero Member
Posts: 4080
Re: Brackish Reinvention
«
Reply #2 on:
December 18, 2020, 12:37:36 PM »
RK. Good to see you're around. Thanks for posting this interesting write. There's a sense of urgency, speaking in random cipher, as claustrophobic coils of collective constriction enfold the last flutter of the true individual. My take, anyway.
Logged
Print
Pages: [
1
]
« previous
next »
My Writers Circle
»
Poets Corner
»
Review My Poetry
»
Brackish Reinvention