Author Topic: Rewrite with a Rhymn  (Read 94 times)

Offline hwillette

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Rewrite with a Rhymn
« on: January 27, 2021, 08:38:57 AM »
I am stuck!

Can anyone help me rewrite this so it rhymns with simple words?

The line is about a cat who is discouraged about loosing another soccer game. It's a children's book (4-6yrs old). I keep circling back to this part not happy with what I have. I need a fresh look on it and suggestions. Thanks!


Offline hwillette

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Re: Rewrite with a Rhymn
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2021, 08:42:48 AM »
Here it is...

"On Friday there was a soccer game.
Another loss was surely expected.
Only a minute left the scoreboard detected.

(Cat in uniform pouting with ball. Scoreboard behind him with only a few minutes left.

Not today.
Coach let him play.
Miles kicked the ball that saved the day."

Am I overthinking it? Does it sound ok?