Author Topic: "Wisdom of Not Knowing" (both versions)  (Read 309 times)

Offline lemur

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"Wisdom of Not Knowing" (both versions)
« on: July 17, 2020, 08:16:50 AM »
Hi Forum,

The first version (without rhymes) is something I wrote two years ago. Then last week I came up with a rhyming version. I'd be interested in hearing comments and criticism of either one, and also would like to know which version you like better. Thanks!

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"Wisdom of Not Knowing" (v. 1)

The cherry tree, not knowing
That it puts forth flowers each time the soft breath of spring returns,
That the warm breath of spring returns,
Or that there are cherry trees,
(Or that the flowers are exquisite,)
Still
Is a cherry tree, and,
When the sweet breath of spring returns,
Does, each time, put forth flowers.
And the flowers, still, are exquisite.

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"Wisdom of Not Knowing" (v. 2)

The cherry tree, it never learns
That it blossoms in the spring,
Or that each year the spring returns,
Or that a cherry treeís a thing.

Even so, it still will be
A cherry tree.
And when spring comes, in that same hour,
The tree will still put forth its flower.

So itís no use to tell it, is it,
That the flowers are exquisite.
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." - Emerson

"WALK WITH LIGHT" - street sign

Offline Cliff Sombito

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Re: "Wisdom of Not Knowing" (both versions)
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2020, 08:36:27 AM »
I like the second version because it flows much better than the first version.

The first version seem to have much words which are not needed and it bars its flow.

I don't know what else to say.

Offline lemur

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Re: "Wisdom of Not Knowing" (both versions)
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2020, 08:55:17 AM »
Thanks!
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." - Emerson

"WALK WITH LIGHT" - street sign