Adult Content: Short Excerpt - Abusive Relationship

[jessywrites]

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[PIJ1951]

Two observations if I may -

Sara seems clinically detached (which is maybe what you're aiming for here) but also very self-aware and measured in her analysis of herself. If she was truly a 'victim' of abuse rather than a willing participant I'd expect her internal thoughts to be much less coherent. The reader needs to see her turmoil in the way she expresses herself as well as in the nature of the questions she asks herself. It reads more like a therapist's professional take on abuse than a victim's.

Secondly - since I believe this site is also visited by under-aged readers - you might want to include the warning 'Adult Content' in the subject line.

[jessywrites]

Thanks! Addressed the latter.
Interesting observation because I was afraid she wouldn’t be making enough sense and would be contradicting herself too much already. She participates, but she’s taken advantage of by a skillful manipulator. Her experiences are in a grey zone, if that makes sense?