Author Topic: Coming of Age  (Read 492 times)

Offline jessywrites

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Coming of Age
« on: June 13, 2020, 07:42:33 AM »
n.a
« Last Edit: July 13, 2020, 08:24:26 AM by jessywrites »

Offline PIJ1951

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Re: Coming of Age
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2020, 08:46:25 AM »
I'm also a YA/NA writer so I'm curious about your reservations. Labelling a book so it neatly fits a particular genre is what publishers tend to do to help with marketing, but the truth is - a well-written book can appeal to a wide range of age groups whether the main characters are of a certain age and/or demographic or otherwise. The same goes for writing style. YA readers are just as demanding as 'grown-up readers' (!) so it's not a case of dumbing down to make life easier for them. But it's important that you don't get carried away trying to impress them with clever words or poetic imagery at the expense of a good story.

You skilfully managed to maintain the momentum of the plot while at the same time injecting background information about your characters so well done for that. I'll comment as I read through if I may.

'Sara, who sat on the bedside, turned her head to look out the window'.
A minor point maybe, but this comes across as if it's an important fact - as if it's how Sara made her living for example. It would read better if you wrote 'Sara who was sitting on the bedside. . .'

'The snow gently enrobed the grounds.'
And here it looks as if a Victorian romantic poet has taken over the story.  When's the last time you used the word 'enrobed' in a conversation? This would jar with most readers.

Thankfully, I soon stopped reading with a writer's eye - a good sign when something is well-written and engaging. The more I read, the more I learned about your characters and the set-up (although I did mistakenly think Sara was the patient to begin with - maybe it could be made clearer a little earlier).

Other than that, it's a promising start. Thanks for sharing.

Offline Remotely

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Re: Coming of Age
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2020, 08:46:38 AM »
It looks well written and not over-the-top with descriptive language.

Good job so far!

Offline jessywrites

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Re: Coming of Age
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2020, 08:36:39 PM »
Thank you - very useful advice, I highly appreciate it!
I'm also a YA/NA writer so I'm curious about your reservations. Labelling a book so it neatly fits a particular genre is what publishers tend to do to help with marketing, but the truth is - a well-written book can appeal to a wide range of age groups whether the main characters are of a certain age and/or demographic or otherwise. The same goes for writing style. YA readers are just as demanding as 'grown-up readers' (!) so it's not a case of dumbing down to make life easier for them. But it's important that you don't get carried away trying to impress them with clever words or poetic imagery at the expense of a good story.

You skilfully managed to maintain the momentum of the plot while at the same time injecting background information about your characters so well done for that. I'll comment as I read through if I may.

'Sara, who sat on the bedside, turned her head to look out the window'.
A minor point maybe, but this comes across as if it's an important fact - as if it's how Sara made her living for example. It would read better if you wrote 'Sara who was sitting on the bedside. . .'

'The snow gently enrobed the grounds.'
And here it looks as if a Victorian romantic poet has taken over the story.  When's the last time you used the word 'enrobed' in a conversation? This would jar with most readers.

Thankfully, I soon stopped reading with a writer's eye - a good sign when something is well-written and engaging. The more I read, the more I learned about your characters and the set-up (although I did mistakenly think Sara was the patient to begin with - maybe it could be made clearer a little earlier).

Other than that, it's a promising start. Thanks for sharing.

Offline jessywrites

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Re: Coming of Age
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2020, 08:37:02 PM »
It looks well written and not over-the-top with descriptive language.

Good job so far!

Thanks!