Author Topic: In Daylight  (Read 1438 times)

Offline indar

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3840
In Daylight
« on: May 29, 2020, 05:37:18 PM »
The dying body beneath him
gushed feces and urine.
He leaned forward, harder,
fingered himself from his pocket
in secret joy.

Offline ssilvs

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 21
    • another site to track me down & shoot me
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2020, 11:31:11 PM »
well, this is certainly something. gotta say, nothing about this guy’s “joy” sounds secret  ;D
“Nothing more invites a reader than an argument unlooked for” - Robert Burton

“we love art as ruins, a collaboration between the artist and entropy” - jaako pallasvulo
(crossposting is a lil too much work–you can find me here as well https://hellopoetry.com/ssilvs/ )

Offline Nora

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2020, 01:28:43 PM »
I have to say, I feel a little dirty now having read that

Offline Sheena

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 3
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2020, 06:54:39 AM »
I am confused. Not sure if I am less intellectual to understand the poem or it is so simple and I am trying to read between the lines.

Offline Nora

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #4 on: November 06, 2020, 11:11:25 AM »
The dying body beneath him
gushed feces and urine.
He leaned forward, harder,
fingered himself from his pocket
in secret joy.

I'm not about to comment on your intellectual ability; the following is just how I see "In Daylight". So it appears to be either a little story about someone who fatally attacked another human being, who is masturbating over that person in their death throes; or about someone who comes across that other human being in the process of dying who proceeds in the same way. I definitely need a shower again.

Offline drab

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3896
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #5 on: November 07, 2020, 08:54:51 PM »
It's about the black man who was suffocated by a police man in America a few months ago; it describes the event...no shower required!
To live, with gentle but cunning deceit, and accept the consequences, is the destiny of every man.

Offline Nora

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2020, 04:04:55 PM »
OK, that context puts a whole new light on it.

Offline Royal Kumari

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 153
    • Findings: A compilation of thoughts, images, and words
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2020, 01:51:15 AM »
Context helps. I work with individuals suffering from paraphilia so I took it some way. Wondering if that was the intention to strike parallel with atrocity/ depravity.

Offline Nora

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #8 on: December 05, 2020, 06:35:24 PM »
I am not familiar with paraphilia but it's a good question

Offline delilah22

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 4
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #9 on: January 21, 2021, 12:09:24 PM »
I am confused. Not sure if I am less intellectual to understand the poem or it is so simple and I am trying to read between the lines.

I think that it is quite a plain poem, conveying everything it has to, using the words it is spun with.

Offline indar

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3840
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2021, 02:37:44 PM »
Well, this is a surprise. I logged on to search for an old, old poem I posted here never suspecting this poem would still be under discussion. I posted it after George Floyd was killed near where I once lived in Minneapolis. In my imagination, as the dying body gushed in a death throes, the officer experienced some kind of arousal as is sometimes the case when certain people kill. No idea if that's accurate in this case but it had that look and there were questions about his hand in his "pocket".

Thank you all for the reads and comments.

Offline Royal Thorn 78

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 36
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #11 on: February 19, 2021, 12:00:54 PM »
Incredible poem.  What a gem nestled amid this detritus.
This is how to write a poem. :)

Offline crch

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 35
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #12 on: March 01, 2021, 06:01:28 PM »
I love it!  Different and bold.
 It is always interesting to hear the inspiration behind it.
More?


Roy - Detritus?! 
Great word, but... golly.
Reread mine! ;D



Offline indar

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3840
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #13 on: March 01, 2021, 06:49:29 PM »
Thank you crch. I looked at your poem as suggested in the above post and actually loved the back story as a piece of powerful writing. I also posted an old poem of mine. Its not the same theme as "In Daylight" but it is about intolerance of those who are different from ourselves, our tribes, race, culture...

Offline indar

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3840
Re: In Daylight
« Reply #14 on: March 01, 2021, 06:56:13 PM »
Context helps. I work with individuals suffering from paraphilia so I took it some way. Wondering if that was the intention to strike parallel with atrocity/ depravity.

I suspect paraphilia (which I had to google) might come into play and it might be somewhat situation specific. Thank you RK (if I may) for adding another dimension to the discussion