Author Topic: a thousand deers passing  (Read 134 times)

Offline ssilvs

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a thousand deers passing
« on: May 24, 2020, 01:33:30 AM »
slick glistening stalactites hovering over my heart like
your blood pounding in my
veins i have seen
your death in my
dreams
i have seen you lying cold and
bloodless  like a voodoo doll left to
rot
i see you in the ear of your doll left
abandoned on the table
are you there darkling i have
waited for you there are
a thousand deers passing by my
window something strange something dark
bleeding from the
ears
   darling youíre bleeding darling come to
me come to me
empty and open i want to
devour you alive i want to be
devoured alive please please tear me
apart sweetheart i'm
looking at you and listening to you i hear you in my
heart

Offline ssilvs

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Re: a thousand deers passing
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2020, 01:34:11 AM »
been a while since i last posted here! i wrote this last night while i was drunk can someone pls tell if itís worth anything

Offline JTetstone

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  • Jan Tetstone a/k/s Janice Sanford/nosuchmember
    • The Spirit Within Poetry
Re: a thousand deers passing
« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2020, 06:48:02 PM »
Hi. Is this poem about two legged dears or four legged deer? If its about 4 legged deer, it reads like the writer is suffering from 'deer fever'  Not quite sure which deer/dear this poem is about. Welcome back to MWC.
It's a waste of time to try to teach a heart writer rules for writing.. Smile. jt

Offline ssilvs

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Re: a thousand deers passing
« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2020, 11:47:13 PM »
Hi. Is this poem about two legged dears or four legged deer? If its about 4 legged deer, it reads like the writer is suffering from 'deer fever'  Not quite sure which deer/dear this poem is about. Welcome back to MWC.

no clue! thanks