Author Topic: My Boyfriend is a Ghost  (Read 989 times)

Offline jemma1999

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My Boyfriend is a Ghost
« on: March 18, 2020, 10:58:23 AM »
His presence lingers like cold air in a breeze
Itís travelled for miles parting mountains and seas
Thereís a void around me where you once stood
I wish I could see you, oh how I wish that I could

My boyfriend is a ghost, or is he an oak tree?
I long for the day that he returns, and comes back home to me
Following me quietly, I hear a voice say:
ďIím alive, Iím not a ghost, you pushed me away.
I was here, and now Iím gone, but I just could not stay.Ē

He lies, heís a ghost, I know it to be true
For he haunts my dreams, and cries my fears
I know he feels it too

His presence is clear like clouded stained glass
He speaks to poisoned ears and memories that pass
Heís stood beside me now, as steady as a tree
Maybe he wasnít a ghost after-all, maybe it was me

Offline Olesia

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Re: My Boyfriend is a Ghost
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2020, 05:57:22 AM »
Hey Jemma1999,

Welcome to My Writers Circle, we appreciate you sharing some of your work with us!

To make things more personal we would love to learn more about you, please post an intro on the Welcome Board. Let us know what part of the world you're in, some background on your writing journey and how you found us.

For this particular piece, are you looking for specific insight from the community? Let us know what we can do to help you improve on this excerpt.


Offline danaa1608

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Re: My Boyfriend is a Ghost
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2020, 07:28:52 AM »
second line: it*
3rd stanza, second line: "cries my fears", what do you mean by this? as to me, it made no sense (?)

Overall, it an incredible poem. I love the transition from him potentially being a ghost to you being the ghost. It's quite clever!