Author Topic: Synopsis  (Read 429 times)

Offline PIJ1951

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Synopsis
« on: January 01, 2020, 09:20:19 AM »
Writing a synopsis/back cover blurb is almost as difficult as the book itself. Here's my first attempt for my latest YA novel - ALPHA BRAVO CHARLIE DAWG.

By her own admission, 14-year-old Callie Sinclair is already suffering a mid-life crisis. As cynical and sneering as only an adolescent girl can be, the last thing Callie needs right now is someone to come along and thaw her icy exterior.

But the arrival in the neighbourhood of a mysterious young boy, Charlie Kerr, who refuses to speak to anyone except Callie, changes everything. She takes him under her wing and finds herself warming to the poor boy. Week by week, Callie's determination to help Charlie overcome the loss of his parents seems to be working.

But Callie's efforts to help Charlie recover slowly undermine her carefully created image as 'the coefficient of cool'. And the boy's increasingly impulsive behaviour eventually places the lives of Callie and her little sister in grave danger. That's when Callie Sinclair reverts to norm, cutting all contact with Charlie and hiding behind her own defences once more. It takes a cruel twist of fate for her to re-evaluate everything about herself. Is Charlie Kerr a devil boy like everyone else believes, or will he turn out to be her saviour?


Any comments gratefully received.

Offline jadynm1234567

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Re: Synopsis
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2020, 06:52:33 PM »
I think it's very well written and descriptive. I know I'd read it. Great job!

Offline TK

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Re: Synopsis
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2020, 08:03:43 PM »
Quote
By her own admission, 14-year-old Callie Sinclair is already suffering a mid-life crisis.

This is adorable and funny. I already love it. Overall this sounds like a really good book that a lot of people would jive with.

That being said, the wording is a little clunky in most of the synopsis.

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As cynical and sneering as only an adolescent girl can be, the last thing Callie needs right now is someone to come along and thaw her icy exterior.

The way the first clause is formed makes it kind of confusing and awkward. You get the meaning, but it would deeply benefit from working on how this actually reads. The second clause is all right.

Quote
But the arrival in the neighbourhood of a mysterious young boy, Charlie Kerr, who refuses to speak to anyone except Callie, changes everything. She takes him under her wing and finds herself warming to the poor boy. Week by week, Callie's determination to help Charlie overcome the loss of his parents seems to be working.

This whole paragraph could be condensed into one sentence and put back into the first paragraph. It's way too wordy and gives a little too much information than is needed to actually hook a reader.

Quote
But Callie's efforts to help Charlie recover slowly undermine her carefully created image as 'the coefficient of cool'. And the boy's increasingly impulsive behaviour eventually places the lives of Callie and her little sister in grave danger. That's when Callie Sinclair reverts to norm, cutting all contact with Charlie and hiding behind her own defences once more. It takes a cruel twist of fate for her to re-evaluate everything about herself. Is Charlie Kerr a devil boy like everyone else believes, or will he turn out to be her saviour?

You started two paragraphs in a row with "but". You don't even need to start either of them with "but". Beside that little nitpick, the whole last paragraph seems likes it gives way too much away for a back of the book synopsis. You shouldn't give away anything beyond the beginning of the second act in my opinion. Otherwise you end up with a synopsis like on the back of Go Ask Alice with literally tells you how the book ends.

Again, this sounds like a really good book that I would probably read, but most people that pick it up from a shelf would probably think it would be full of awkward writing if the blurb is so awkward. Which probably isn't the case, I assume.
~T.C.

Offline TK

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Re: Synopsis
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2020, 08:05:39 PM »
Not trying to spam you, but this book reminds me of another really good book, Counting by 7s by Holly Goldberg Sloan. It's very good and covers similar material. If you haven't already, you may benefit from reading it. If not for inspiration then maybe just because it's a really good book.
~T.C.

Offline jadynm1234567

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Re: Synopsis
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2020, 08:29:40 PM »
The wording that is described as "clunky" is different because it's in passive voice. Passive voice is a good tool to have and use, and I think it makes your synopsis pop out a little. I don't think there's too much info; you're revealing what the main conflict is. It's in the "second act" because the first part of the book builds to the second. I don't think that makes it awkward. It read a lot like a book I love called "Looking for Alaska," which has a major plot twist halfway through the book. The blurb doesn't give away what that is, but indicates that something huge happened. There's no shame in that if that's what your book is about. Personally, I like blurbs with the writer's style in it, which is what you have. You have a lot of description, and maybe you could cut a bit of it, but overall I enjoyed feeling your voice from it.

Offline PIJ1951

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Re: Synopsis
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2020, 06:23:54 AM »
Thanks everyone for taking the time and trouble to read and respond. Some useful pointers here - and it's always good to see how your work comes across to a wider audience. Thanks again! I'm working on it.