Author Topic: Tuneless Fat Kid  (Read 1004 times)

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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Tuneless Fat Kid
« on: July 19, 2019, 04:35:22 AM »
Today like every other day
he sings in that annoying way-
a nasal adolescent whine
and songs you cannot quite define,
or voices incoherent rap
in a jaunty backwards baseball cap.
Rap I know sod all about,
his singing though is miles out –
his limitations magnified
by being loudly amplified.

With coins collecting at his feet
in a busy lunchtime city street,
he’s on a fervent quest, it seems,
to live his tuneless fat kid dreams.

With self-belief and passion strong
he bares his feelings, lost in song,
the soulful ballads  mainly those
that no-one over thirty knows.
His eyes are closed, he knows some moves
and fleetingly his act improves
but nothing really compensates
for all the notes he desecrates.

But whether he is sharp or flat
they still drop money in his hat.
So, sadly, to my sorrow
he will be back tomorrow.

What’s needed here
is a word in his ear,
to hand him his cap
and tell him he’s crap,
that what he enjoys
is really just noise,
to crush his dreams,
spoil his schemes
and to make him aware
that life is unfair.
You’re noisy, you’re flat.
Just stick to being fat.

Such a terrible task
is a really big ask-
the gloom it would place
on that great moon face
and I just cannot see
that falling to me.
Most people won’t
some might say don’t
so he’ll stay there until
somebody will.
Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at –

Offline pbstud

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Re: Tuneless Fat Kid
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2019, 02:07:13 AM »
This is awesome. Really love the line about living his tuneless fat kid dream. There's no need for any critique from me as I am not the poetry expert. This is very good and I can't think of anything to change. Love the ending about having to tell the kid. That's priceless.

Offline lolaaidrien3

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Re: Tuneless Fat Kid
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2019, 05:12:26 PM »
This starts a warmth right in the center of my chest. My favorite part is where it starts "What's needed here". To the chase. This is the type of honesty that people deserve because believe it or not it's got more love in it than the empty and false compliments.