Author Topic: Need a Critique Reader for a Crossover Fanfiction  (Read 262 times)

Offline fictionalDV3

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Need a Critique Reader for a Crossover Fanfiction
« on: July 08, 2019, 07:41:44 PM »
Hello, I'm a fanfiction writer, and I am currently working on a Warhammer 40K and RWBY Crossover. The story is called "Fist of Remnant." What happens in it is an Imperial Fist Space Marine sergeant winds up in Remnant and meets Team RWBY and their friends. I am a huge fan of both series and I know a lot, but I was wondering if anyone who is an expert on both 40K and RWBY who could help me with editing my fanfiction. I have the first chapter finished. It sets up how my Adeptus Astartes character ends up in Remnant. Basically, it starts when Tactical Sergeant Kraeton (my Imperial Fist character) is fighting alongside his battle-brothers and Imperial Guard against a mutant uprising. The line is being held until more Imperial reinforcements arrive, and the Imperial forces advance. What's happening is that a Chaos Sorcerer is trying to open a warp gate, but his plans are foiled when the Imperial Fists and their allies finally slay the Sorcerer and his mutant army. Unfortunately, killing the Sorcerer causes the warp gate to go crazy. Sgt. Kraeton is separated from his squad while saving one of his battle-brothers from a fallen thunderhawk. Kraeton and the thunderhawk are swallowed up by the malfunctioning warp gate and disappear. This is how Kraeton is transported from his universe to Remnant. I have finished the first chapter, but I would like it if someone could help me edit it. Towards the end of the chapter, I kind of rushed things, and I was wondering if someone could help me add more. Plus, I was wondering if I could have help with including more details, fixing sentences so that they make sense, things like that. I really wanted the first chapter to be full of action, and I would like it if someone could help me add more to it If anyone sees this, please feel free to respond. I would be more than happy to accept your help and take your advice. Thank you. -moomin warrior.

Offline nosuchmember

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Re: Need a Critique Reader for a Crossover Fanfiction
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2019, 10:40:15 PM »
Hi and Welcome to MWC, fictionalDV3.
If you are looking for feed back on your work you might want to post it on the 'review my work' board:
http://mywriterscircle.com/index.php?board=4.0

Best of luck with your writing.   

Offline fictionalDV3

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Re: Need a Critique Reader for a Crossover Fanfiction
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2019, 05:34:19 PM »
Thank you for the help!

Offline nosuchmember

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Re: Need a Critique Reader for a Crossover Fanfiction
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2019, 06:40:16 PM »
You Welcome.