Author Topic: On Attending an HBCU  (Read 720 times)

Offline AntonioM

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On Attending an HBCU
« on: July 07, 2019, 11:14:08 PM »
Black, children,
is the color most often
associated with negativity.
Necro reaches from the ashes of Greece,
Choking on its own arrogance.
Words, like slaves
Bound to their white pages
Cry out.
Meshed together in manageable number,
Left to right, we read
Their faces, illegible.
Back and forth we write
Our history, illiterate.
In then out, we push
a legacy, inevitable.
Freedom, like power
moving us through the classes
intoxicates.
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Offline nosuchmember

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2019, 07:48:49 PM »
AntonioM, I can feel what your poem is saying.
I have black grandchildren among my white grandchildren
I don't see color when I look at any of them...
I see individual pieces of my heart.

I did note what I think may need changing:

Black, children,
is the color most often
associated with negativity.

children is plural(more than one child)

Black children
are the color most often
associated with negativity.

Thanks for sharing.       jt


Offline Desiderio Paz

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2019, 11:44:50 AM »
Black children
are the color most often
associated with negativity.

I stumbled on the first line and then got lost through the rest of the poem. Then I read the suggested edit above, and the entire poem became clear. It is too easy to overlook the first comma as a mistake instead of as essential. Maybe changing "children" to "my children" would help readers. Excellent work, especially the relationship described between print and pages, and the foundation that sets for the rest of the poem.

Offline AntonioM

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2019, 07:14:09 PM »
Jt, thank you for reading. I would suggest viewing the following video. Your grandchildren need your protection.

https://youtu.be/uqbweqWph44
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Offline nosuchmember

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2019, 07:37:42 PM »
Jt, thank you for reading. I would suggest viewing the following video. Your grandchildren need your protection.

https://youtu.be/uqbweqWph44

You welcome. I clicked on the video saw Oprah ,listened long enough to get the feel of what was being said....Just remember racist come in every color. All my grandchildren need protection from people like Opera and others who feed racism . My grandchildren, all, have the highest level of protection: Family.

Thank you for the link.

jt
« Last Edit: July 17, 2019, 06:09:00 PM by heartsongjt »

Offline AntonioM

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2019, 11:57:50 PM »
Racism requires power.  ::) Like the kind you've exercised to take part in a conversation about a subject you have little regard toward, usurping the voices of your other grandchildren by lumping them in with children whose life experiences will be different, regardless of their grandmother's abhorrent attention to detail.

Like the kind you've left in your back-handed thank you, leaving remnants of your disdain for the uncomfortable conversation, you initiated. Your comments seem like a weak, pedantic criticism of social reform disguised as a criticism of my poetic work. 

The readers are addressed in the vocative as "children" (L1), because their ignorance is supposed.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2019, 12:08:50 AM by AntonioM »
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Offline nosuchmember

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2019, 08:18:30 AM »
Racism requires power.  ::) Like the kind you've exercised to take part in a conversation about a subject you have little regard toward, usurping the voices of your other grandchildren by lumping them in with children whose life experiences will be different, regardless of their grandmother's abhorrent attention to detail.

Like the kind you've left in your back-handed thank you, leaving remnants of your disdain for the uncomfortable conversation, you initiated. Your comments seem like a weak, pedantic criticism of social reform disguised as a criticism of my poetic work. 

The readers are addressed in the vocative as "children" (L1), because their ignorance is supposed.

Thank you, for explaining my comments to me. 
Best of luck with your writing.

jt

Offline AntonioM

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2019, 03:37:33 PM »
Anytime.

Antonio
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Offline AntonioM

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #8 on: July 20, 2019, 02:20:23 PM »
I regret that my rushed and short tempered response to your reading, may have discouraged you from pursuing the challenge my poem possess for readers like yourself. The challenge is to overcome preconceived notions of blackness.

Readers like you, live with a different perspective on the subject of "Blackness," which I believe is rooted in a racist interpretation of a Greek linguistic tradition. Necro. Your instinct however was to alter the poem to be more easily digested, rather than doing the work-out required for understanding-- to prove the poem wrong. But you didn't, you fell into it's trap, and assumed the poet must have made a grammatical error, for his inferior education. But alas, the poem justifies its unusual presentation, revealing with it the racist's lazy thought process. And refusal to lookup unfamiliar terms, ie, Necro (Nee- See- Ro).

Your misinterpretation of the text, is proof of the poem's assertions of the racist's linguistic ignorance. I E the tradition of Blackness being associated first with negativity, and then later transformed to oppress people of color-- who in most instances are not literally black, but literarily and legislatively black.

The poem attempts to laude the historically black college system for cultivating awareness of the historical distinction between Blackness and racism, by tracing its etymology.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2019, 02:26:07 PM by AntonioM »
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Offline nosuchmember

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #9 on: July 20, 2019, 03:53:28 PM »

Your misinterpretation of the text, is proof of the poem's assertions of the racist's linguistic ignorance.

Correcting a grammar error ,in no way means an intentional "misinterpretation of the text."

While your evaluation of the meaning behind  my comment is very telling, all that you wrote about my reasoning for replying to a post, on a 'writers site," is nothing more than the opinion of one who appears to have hidden motives for posting on the 'review my poetry' board.

Having homeschooled for about 20 years.... "children" and the word "is" stood out:

Black, children,
is the color most often
associated with negativity.

Singular verb with singular subject and plural verb with plural subject. In the given sentence subject 'children' is plural and verb 'is' is singular. ’Are’ should be used with children. https://www.quora.com/The-children-is-swimming-Is-this-sentence-correct

jt


Offline AntonioM

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #10 on: July 20, 2019, 05:49:57 PM »
There is no subject verb agreement issue, punctuation satisfies the rules of grammar.

Your suggested change of address would change the very meaning of the poem, because it is refracted through a racist prism-- black children are not the most associated with negativity-- white men win that hands down, historically. Many white supremacists organizations and groups have been formalized, legitimized, and allowed to use power over minority groups and women.

I have taken good advice from many great writers on this site and beyond. I only wish to expand the realm of poetry to be inclusive, diverse, and to raise awareness and the level of discourse on issues important to me. If that isn't your goal in writing wtf you doing here?
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Offline nosuchmember

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #11 on: July 20, 2019, 06:16:58 PM »
There is no subject verb agreement issue, punctuation satisfies the rules of grammar.

Interesting, since there is no rule ,that I can find, that  backs up your claim.

Best of luck finding the 'rule.'

jt

Offline AntonioM

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #12 on: July 20, 2019, 08:32:09 PM »
Black is the subject of that sentence. l don't need luck, I have an English degree, among others. See: vocative comma and how to locate the subject of a sentence.

Antonio
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Offline nosuchmember

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2019, 02:45:57 PM »
There is no subject verb agreement issue, punctuation satisfies the rules of grammar.

Your suggested change of address would change the very meaning of the poem, because it is refracted through a racist prism-- black children are not the most associated with negativity-- white men win that hands down, historically. Many white supremacists organizations and groups have been formalized, legitimized, and allowed to use power over minority groups and women.

I have taken good advice from many great writers on this site and beyond. I only wish to expand the realm of poetry to be inclusive, diverse, and to raise awareness and the level of discourse on issues important to me. If that isn't your goal in writing wtf you doing here?

Thank you. I'm sure all the black children appreciate your hard work...in education.     jt

https://sites.ed.gov/whhbcu/one-hundred-and-five-historically-black-colleges-and-universities/

Offline AntonioM

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Re: On Attending an HBCU
« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2019, 11:28:45 PM »
Jt, yes, the many children I've taught to read and write are some of the great joys of my life. Literacy is a human right. The hundreds of hours I volunteered with and thousands of dollars I've raised for the boys and girls club was a rewarding challenge. The time I spend at the community kitchen, the service year I provided to low-income communities through Americorps, the years I spent defending them as an enlisted sailor, and the quarts of blood I donated through high school during the year spent on the board for the Suffolk American Red Cross, my activism and fundraising for save darfur, the contributions I made to Haitian orphanages from my military pay in lieu of waived state taxes (before the earthquake), the dozens of political campaigns I've worked advocating state and local Representatives dedicated to prison pipeline reform-- yes, I love black children. In the meantime, what's your point? And yes, I went to HAMPTON an HBCU!
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