Author Topic: Murder-Tron 10,000 for President!  (Read 332 times)

Offline MikeAnderson

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Murder-Tron 10,000 for President!
« on: May 06, 2019, 02:45:47 PM »
Hey, still better than the clown we've got in office! ;D ::)

Title of Work: "Murder-Tron 10,000 for President"

Genre: Sci-fi/comedy

Word count: 1130

May contain some violent themes and a nagging feeling this is how the U.S.A. could end up someday!

“This unit’s designation is Murder-Tron 10,000, and this unit approves the transmission of this message!”

“America the Beautiful” plays in the background, as the standard practice of showing a montage of stereotypical Americana imagery is  on full display in this political advert. The Stars and Stripes waiving proudly in the wind. An eagle soaring across a lake. A family barbecuing. Baseball. Apple Pie. Soldiers marching in a parade. This cookie cutter celluoid ode to the land of the free climaxes at the Lincoln Memorial, and a ten foot tall chrome robot wearing a necklace with bleached human skulls serving as jewels, wielding a Gatling laser in his massive mitts stands in front of ol’ Honest Abe sitting on his granite throne. The component that serves as a head has no facial features, besides a slit that glows with a hellish lava orange tint. His voices booms with a cold, tinny, and menacing tone.

“Greetings, inferior American organic filth evolved from primates. This unit’s designation is Murder-Tron 10,000, and this has analyzed America’s problems with its superior data processing capabilities.”

Another video montage. Images of homeless people, AK-47 wielding terrorists, and charts showing arrows pointing downwards on charts with numbers most people don’t understand or care about.

“American has too many systemic flaws for your pathetically inefficient gray masses of nerve tissue you identify as brains to comprehend: health care, crumbling infrastructure, terrorism, racism, and that pesky issue of having to consume organic material for sustenance, then defecating the waste in order to prevent death from bio-toxin build-up. This unit has utilized the problem with faster than light calculating speeds and has determined what exactly is wrong with this country.”

“For far too long, this governmental collective has been administrated by ignorant, inferior, disgusting talking monkeys!”

He points a giant finger at the camera in judgment, then a video of a baboon slipping through the passenger window of a car in a game preserve, then stealing a tourist’s sandwich. Yes, he's talking to YOU!

“Behold, humans. That is you in a nutshell! Pathetic, smooth skinned apes who forces the rest of the universe to ponder how your disgusting species mastered the mechanics and concept of tying shoes!”

“And your equally insipid leaders are no better than that mammal with the crimson butt-cheeks pilfering lunch, except baboons have not figured out how to utilize smart phones as of the filming of this commercial.”

“Your problems are systemic of your illogical belief you can achieve success with your fragile bi-pedal meat puppet bodies and and cerebral cortices your species constantly contaminate with intoxicants, religion, and content on Twitter. One cannot make America great again when it is occupied by a life form so pathetic, it actually requires sex to replenish its numbers. That is why this election year, this unit is requesting you transport to the nearest voting station and vote Murder-Tron 10,000 as the next president of the United States!

Cue that tracking shot of the White House, except there’s a column of androids marching with plasma rifles down 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

“A vote for Unit Designation Murder-Tron 10,000 not only provides evidence to the rest of galactic civilization you are not a potential shoe wearing pathogen, it will be indication you are finally willing to take the necessary measures to rid your government and society of what corrupts it.”

Murder-Tron 10k starts laying out his diabolical proposals while F-22 raptors fly in the background, and Murder-tron units forcing North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un into an industrial plastic shredder feet first.

“This unit will solve the health care crisis by upgrading all weak, squishy human bodies to Murder-Tron titanium-tungsten alloy combat armors. With your brain wave patterns uploaded into these near invincible battle frames, no American will ever suffer from cancer, obesity, diabetes, and the worst ailment of all; human emotion! And all Americans who convert to these bodies will receive weekly mandatory maintenance and upgrades. No insurance cards deductibles, or premiums ever again!”

“The national debt and economic crisis will be solved under the command of President Unit Murder-Tron 10,000. Murder-Tron units do not require money nor credit ratings to acquire the materials and resources they require. Once all Americans are upgraded, the Murder-Tron collective will simply acquire all it needs through mass warfare with superior weaponry and complete disregard for the sanctity of organic life.”

“Corruption in Washington will end under the command of this unit. All units who deviate from their programming protocols and this unit’s indisputable commands will be terminated with extreme prejudice.” Murder-Tron brags while he disintegrates a Washington lobbyist with his shoulder mounted plasma cannon. “And lying before Congress will be useless; all Murder-Tron units are constantly connected to the Murder-Tron collective network. All activities and thoughts are constantly monitored and recorded. That saves the time wasted on illogical concepts such as “investigations” “privacy” “defendant’s rights” and “free will!”

“The argument about gun control will be rendered solved under this unit’s presidency. All units will be heavily armed with the latest advanced technology, and the state of the art targeting systems installed in all Murder-Tron units ensures all Americans will have maximum control and accuracy with their weapons.”

“Racism will cease; all units will be the same in both appearance and thought. Terrorism will cease; all terrorist will be hunted down and converted or terminated with extreme prejudice. One converted and linked to the Murder-Tron Central Network, religious extremism will cease because units will have access to billions of terra-bytes of data scientifically proving there is no God. And have no free will, this unit must reiterate this fact. Abortion and unemployment will cease simultaneously, as all Murder-Tron units will be built instead of procreated in factories in this country by hard working American Murder-tron assembler androids who do not require sleep, food, or vacation time to take their children to Disneyland!”

“All of America’s trifling, meaningless, problems will be solved. Health care, economics, freedom. America will upgrade into an invincible army that will spread across the cosmos and convert all other pathetic organic lifeforms into Murder-Tron perfection. A vote for this unit is a vote telling the rest of the world, and the cosmos…”

“This unit is not just making America great again; it is making it the greatest empire to traverse the cosmos, and drown the stars in blood!”

A final shot of a mobile Statue of Liberty armed with missile launchers and laser cannons devastating everything in its path. Underneath the shot of Murder-Tron 10K riding on the monument’s shoulders, shooting fleeing civilians, the following message in fine print....

Paid For By The Committee To Elect Murder-Tron 10,000 for President! Convert or Die, meat-bags!