Author Topic: For me??  (Read 410 times)

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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For me??
« on: March 22, 2019, 06:55:59 AM »

The trees looked unsettled and stark
the clouds grew portentous and dark,
the winds bellowed strong
through a night dark and long
only fading away
come the first light of day.

But when storm cleared
an offering appeared,
right there in the road
before my abode.
Admittedly odd
but… a present…. from God.

Throwing all caution aside
I eagerly hurried outside.
‘Oh generous Lord,
my sins you’ve ignored.
This gift that I see,
is this really for me?
So what did I do
to gratify you?
This is kindness and more.’
I said, gazing in awe.

Though I haven’t yet been
on my new trampoline,
produced from thin air
with theatrical flair,
I am suitably grateful I guess
for this lavish display of largesse
(and my qualms have now lifted
that I’ve just been re-gifted).

But once I go out
and start jumping about
will the bouncing and falling
inspire a new calling?
Will I solemnly praise
His mysterious ways?
Or thank the good Lord
but then get a bit bored.
Going Godlessly on
once the novelty’s gone.


My feelings are hard to describe
though I know it’s an obvious bribe -
just God on an ongoing search
for those who aren’t going to church.
Though there is a suspicion he may
have cheapened Himself in this way.


Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at –
https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/

Offline nosuchmember

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Re: For me??
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2019, 06:59:04 PM »
The trees looked unsettled and stark
the clouds grew portentous and dark,
the winds bellowed strong
through a night dark and long
only fading away
come the first light of day.

But when storm cleared
an offering appeared,
right there in the road
before my abode.
Admittedly odd
but… a present…. from God.

Throwing all caution aside
I eagerly hurried outside.
‘Oh generous Lord,
my sins you’ve ignored.
This gift that I see,
is this really for me?
So what did I do
to gratify you?
This is kindness and more.’
I said, gazing in awe.

Though I haven’t yet been
on my new trampoline,
produced from thin air
with theatrical flair,
I am suitably grateful I guess
for this lavish display of largesse
(and my qualms have now lifted
that I’ve just been re-gifted).

But once I go out
and start jumping about
will the bouncing and falling
inspire a new calling?
Will I solemnly praise
His mysterious ways?
Or thank the good Lord
but then get a bit bored.
Going Godlessly on
once the novelty’s gone.


My feelings are hard to describe
though I know it’s an obvious bribe -
just God on an ongoing search
for those who aren’t going to church.
Though there is a suspicion he may
have cheapened Himself in this way.


I find nothing wrong in how this poem is written. It says much about the seekers in this life
who search but never really know what they are searching for. Who find, and wonder why.... 
they deserve such a gift.   Jan   

Offline poet-e

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Re: For me??
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2019, 07:30:54 PM »
Rhymes distract me, altho I'm not a rhyming fan.

The word ignored seems problematic in:
"Oh generous Lord,
my sins you’ve ignored."
as far as Christianity's notion of forgiving sins.

Offline Mark T

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Re: For me??
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2019, 01:07:25 PM »

Thanks for posting, Dylan. Chortleworthy as always.