Author Topic: Forever Young: Please review  (Read 327 times)

Offline glewis

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Forever Young: Please review
« on: March 13, 2019, 11:42:18 PM »
[[Although this film is fiction it is based upon true historical events. Some of those events dates has been change for dramatic effect]]




EXT. GERMANY-1938


Wagner Tristan and Isolde prelude is playing in the background while a news reel is showing Hitler's rise to power. Crowds of people including men, women, and children are exuberantly cheering and giving the Nazi salute. The next clip shows Jews wearing yellow stars and kristallnacht; the Jewish shops and synagogues are being looted and burnt down by the German population. The music and picture fades away.


EXT. A PARK IN BERLIN-DAY

The year is 1938. A bunch of kids along with their families are enjoying the winter season by ice skating together. A golden-haired and slightly-built eleven year old boy, HENRIK, is struggling to skate across the frozen lake in the park. Three young girls stop to stare at Henrik who keeps falling on his back.
The FIRST GIRL points at Henrik.


FIRST GIRL
      Who's that boy over there making a fool out of          himself?


SECOND GIRL
      That's Henrik Bauer.


THIRD GIRL
      Oh, that dumb boy from school? (Laughing)


FIRST GIRL


      He certainly seems dumb. He canít even skate          properly!


SECOND GIRL
      Dumb boy.


THIRD GIRL
      Stupid boy.


FIRST GIRL
      Crazy boy.


From out of the crowd a pretty, dark-haired GIRL with fierce eyes  glares at the bullying girls. She seems to be around Henrikís age and the boy is instantly smitten by her.

GIRL
(to the bullies)
      Hey! Stop bothering him!

The three girls glare at her and leave to skate on the opposite side of the frozen lake. The GIRL extends a hand to help Henrik.

HENRIK      
      But I'll just fall again.


GIRL
      Just lean on me for balance. I'll teach you how          to skate.


Henrik takes her hand. He's surprised that he's actually standing up.


GIRL
      Now, take your right foot and slightly tilt it to       the left.





HENRIK
      I can't believe it. I'm actually standing up!



GIRL
      Itís easy, isnít it? Skate with me please.


They skate past the girls who were laughing earlier. Now they are staring at Henrik with their mouths open.


GIRL
      Now, try it on your own.


HENRIK
      But -


GIRL
      You'll do great! Donít be afraid!


Henrik slowly begins to skate by himself without stumbling for two laps around the lake. He turns to look for the girl who helped him out, but to his disappointment she is gone. Henrik skates slowly towards the side where a few people have gathered.


HENRIK
      Does anyone know the about girl I was with just          now?


People shake their heads, some say no.





EXT. BERLIN STREET-DAY


Henrik is walking in the street with his head down as he reflects on the girl who helped him skate. The buildings are festooned with Nazi flags, and their red color stands out sharply against the snowy street. Henrik is so involved in his thoughts that he doesnít notice the three boys approaching him from the front. The boys are all wearing an overcoat over their uniform. A black armband with a white Sieg rune adorns each boyís left arm.


FIRST BOY
      Heil Hitler!


Henrik opens his mouth to respond, but the other boy grabs his arm. The boys push each other back and forth laughing.


FIRST BOY
      Hey Henrik, why haven't you joined the Jungvolk?


HENRIK
      I don't know, Klaus.


SECOND BOY
      It's really quite fun! We often go camping and          hiking. One of the older boys, Hermann, said          we might even be trained for target shooting          soon!

THIRD BOY
      Imagine that! We can even get rid of these             blasted Jews someday. Theyíre the reason we lost          the War!

HENRIK
      I donít know if Iíll join.


KLAUS
      What? Whatís wrong with you? What do you have          against the Jungvolk?


Before Henrik can answer, a boy calls out to Klaus.


BOY
      Klaus, come help us! We've got some Jews!


KLAUS
      Come on letís go. You too Henrik!


The boys run down the street with Henrik following them reluctantly. Around the corner, three boys have surrounded two [Jewish] boys and are kicking and punching them.


KLAUS
      Get them! Dirty Jews! You better not come here!


Henrik is standing still in shock at the sight of the Jewish boys being beaten. Klaus pushes them down as the two boys roll around the ground, helpless.


HENRIK
      That's enough Klaus! Weíve taught them not to          come around here anymore.


The two boys get up and run away.


KLAUS
      Do you want to be a traitor? Those Jews deserved what they got! When you join the Jungvolk, youíll see it too. The Aryans are better than the weak Jews.


BOY


Klaus, Henrik, come on! There might be some more inferiors around to beat.


HENRIK
      My mother is expecting me home for dinner. I have       to go.


KLAUS
      Fine, leave. I better see you in the Jungvolk          soon. Till we meet again. Heil Hitler.


HENRIK
      Heil Hitler. (softly)


Henrik walks slowly down the street looking disturbed.


INT. HOME-EVENING


Henrik enters his home. His mother, GERTRUDE, meets him wearing an apron while his father, RUPPERT, is working on some papers.


GERTRUDE
      Henrik where have you been? Dinner is ready. Oh,          what's the matter? Is your head hurting again?


HENRIK
      It's not that. I saw something disturbing.


GERTRUDE
      What happened?

HENRIK
      Klaus, and some boys from my class were beating          up these Jewish boys for no reason. The Jews were       out-numbered and couldn't fight three boys.


Henrikís father looks up from his papers scowling.


RUPPERT
      What of it? Those Jews must learn their place in          the new Germany, no matter what their age.

HENRIK
      But, why? What did those Jews do to deserve that          kind of treatment? I never had a problem with          them.

RUPPERT
      Have you learnt nothing in school? The Jews and          the communists are the ones responsible for the          state of Germany after the war. Why can't you          understand that?

HENRIK
      But those boys had nothing to do with that.

RUPPERT
      I wonít have you become a Jew sympathizer! Had          you joined the Jungvolks earlier, you would never       have come up with such ridiculous statements.

GERTRUDE
      Henrik still has those headaches. He can't join          them, you know that Ruppert.

RUPPERT
      Fine! Then I'm going to find a good German doctor       for him. And if he finds nothing wrong with you,          which he will, you will become a member of the          Jungvolks. Understand?

GERTRUDE
      Go now and get ready for dinner.


Henrik leaves the room, but stops to listen to his parentsí conversation from the hallway.


RUPPERT
      Where the hell is he getting all those mixed up          ideas about Jews from?

GERTRUDE
      Henrik is a very sensitive boy. Heís not like the       other boys his age, you know that.

RUPPERT
      Because you're always cuddling him like a girl.          He's worthless, heíll never be a proper soldier.          If he becomes a homosexual, he will be sent to          prison.

Henrik canít listen to his parentís conversation anymore. He goes upstairs angrily.


INT. BAUER HOME-DAY


Henrik wakes up and gets up from his bed. His foot accidentally, and painfully, hits a toy tank. He picks up the broken tank.


HENRIK
      Ouch! Damn it! I broke it.


He exits his room and goes downstairs after getting dressed. He opens the front door to leave, but is stopped by his mother.


GERTRUDE
      Henrik, where are you going? Your breakfast is          ready.


   Henrik gestures towards a bulge in his coat pocket.


HENRIK
      I just broke my tank. I'm going to see if the toy       shop can fix it.


MOTHER
      You can leave after youíre done with your             breakfast. Come on!

HENRIK
      Is Father still here?

GERTRUDE
      Yes, heís at the dining table.

   Itís obvious from Henrikís face that he doesnít want to        see his father.

HENRIK
      Iíll be back later then.


GERTRUDE
      (Sighing)Fine. Be back here for lunch then.

HENRIK
      I will.


EXT. BERLIN STREET-DAY

Henrik keeps walking until he comes across a corner store. The Star of David is painted on the window with the name Jude, indicating that the shop is owned by Jews. Henrik enters the shop anyway.


INT. INSIDE THE STORE-DAY

A little bell tingles. Henrik hears gentle footsteps as he approaches the counter. He looks up at the stairway and sees the very girl that once taught him how to skate in the park. He smiles widely at the girl and she returns the gesture.


HENRIK
      Hey, itís you! I mean, you're the girl from the    Prk. You disappeared back then!


GIRL
      Yeah, I was running late so I had to leave early.       Sorry I disappeared on you.

HENRIK
      Thatís okay. I havenít seen you since then, at          the park, I mean.

GIRL
      I'm no longer allowed to skate there anymore.

HENRIK
      You're not? Why?

GIRL
      Haven't you seen the sign forbidding Jews from          skating there?

HENRIK
      I didn't know you were Jewish.


The girl raises her eyebrows and begins to climb back up the stairs, offended.


HENRIK
      Wait! I didn't mean it that way. I'm Henrik, see          I broke my tank. I came here to get it repaired.


Henrik holds up the broken tank. The girl halts and then comes down the stairs.

GIRL
(Smiling)
      My name is Rachel.

RACHEL extends a hand towards Henrik and he shakes it.

RACHEL (contíd)
      Grandfather does the repairing. Heís working in          the back. I can give it to him if you want.


He gives her the toy tank and they exchange long glances. Rachel takes the broken toy to the back of the shop, leaving Henrik alone. He passes the time by looking at the items behind the counter. He leans over the counter to pick up a piece on the shelf when Rachel returns with her GRANDFATHER. Surprised by their entry, Henrik falls down behind the counter. Rachel and her grandfather rush towards the counter and Rachel helps him up.


GRANDFATHER
      Are you alright young man?

HENRIK
      Yes sir. I just slipped, thank you.

GRANDFATHER
      You ought to be a little more careful! Iíve fixed       your toy. Here, itís as good as new. You should          give it an hour before you play with it though.

HENRIK
      Thank you so much sir.

Henrik reaches down in his pocket and takes out some money.


GRANDFATHER
      No, no young man. Since youíre a friend of my          granddaughter, it would be shameful to take your             money. This is free.


HENRIK
      But I must insist sir! 


GRANDFATHER
      Youíre very polite, but no, fixing it was my          pleasure.

Henrik reluctantly puts the money back in his pocket.

RACHEL
      Would like to stay over for some hot chocolate          and pastries?

HENRIK
      Oh, well it couldnít hurt. Thank you!


Rachel and her grandfather lead him towards the back of the shop and into a brightly-lit room that opens into a kitchen. A woman, RACHELíS GERTRUDE, is working at the stove and turns around when Rachel and her grandfather enter the room with Henrik.

RACHEL'S MOTHER
      Who is this?

RACHEL
      He's a friend of mine. I taught him how to skate.


Rachel gestures to Henrik to sit down at the dining table, and brings him a pastry.


RACHEL's MOTHER
      Well, your father-


She is interrupted as the door swings open. A man with a Gold Star on his coat stares hard at Henrik.


MAN
      Whoís this?


RACHEL
      Father, this is my friend, Henrik. He-


RACHELíS FATHER
      He shouldn't be here. He's German isnít he? The          Jungvolk probably sent him to spy on us.

HENRIK
      No sir, I'm not a member of the Jungvolk.


GRANDFATHER
      Give the boy a break, he seems nice enough to me.


RACHELíS FATHER
      Don't buy his blue-eyed innocence. He's a Nazi          underneath, they all are. Tell me boy, is your          father a member of the Nazi party?

HENRIK
      He's a Civil Servant, sir, and-


RACHELíS FATHER
      Many of our friends have been taken away by the          Nazi. I have to protect my family. It's best that       you leave here boy, and never come back.


HENRIK
      I only came here to have my toy repaired.

RACHEL
      I'm the one who invited him in, Father.


RACHELíS FATHER (to Henrik)
      Leave now and don't ever come near my daughter          again.

RACHEL
      I'll see you out.

RACHELíS FATHER
      No!

RACHELíS MOTHER
      Please, just let her do that. It canít                possibly hurt.


Rachel and Henrik slip out as Rachelís parents argue.


HENRIK
(Whispering)
      When will I see you again?


RACHEL


Come to the Jewish Girls School on Auguststrasse 11 at 4:00.

HENRIK
      What? But, what If I get caught and-


RACHELSí FATHER (O.S.)
      Rachel! Come here now!


RACHEL
      I have to go now. We'll talk later.


Henrik is grinning from ear to ear as he leaves the shop with his fixed tank.


INT. SCHOOL-MORNING


The TEACHER is in the front of the room teaching a class on Racial Biology. Charts depicting different races are pinned on the walls, some of which show Aryans. The teacher points at the chart on the blackboard with her pointing stick.


TEACHER   
      Now, as we can see, the inferior races are             represented here against the Aryan race. Is there       anyone who would like to point out the features          of the inferior races?


Klausís hand shoots up quickly.


TEACHER
      Ah, Klaus! Please enlighten your sleeping             classmates.


Henrik does not smile and watches Klaus carefully as the boy gets up from his seat. Klaus takes the pointing stick from the teacher who watches him with a look of barely-constrained pride.

KLAUS
      As you can see, the Jewsí noses are large as are          their foreheads. Just as the other races can't          compare with us like the Blacks-


Henrik raises his hand. The teacher stares exasperatedly at him.


TEACHER
      What is it now Henrik?


HENRIK


How can the Blacks be inferior? Didn't Jesse Owens win gold med-


TEACHER
      Don't ever mention that name here again!


The class breaks out laughing.


TEACHER
      Ignorant child! Why must you always disrupt my          class with your stupidity?


GIRL (From the Skating Rink)
Dumb boy. (low)


Other students snicker.


TEACHER
      And I find it strange that you're the only boy          here who hasn't joined the Jungvolk. Why not? Are       your parents filthy Jew sympathizers?


HENRIK
      Not, I just have headaches. I canít join the          Jungvolk.

TEACHER
      Maybe you should join the Jungmšdel instead.


Everyone is laughing now.

TEACHER
      Unless of course, thatís too tough for you.


The class continues to laugh at him as Henrik sinks into his seat looking embarrassed.


« Last Edit: March 14, 2019, 12:01:54 AM by glewis »

Offline pltrish

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Re: Forever Young: Please review
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2019, 09:14:02 AM »
Hi @glewis

Thanks for sharing your story :)

Before I share my thoughts, would like to kindly ask, are you trying to write a story or a theatre script? Because the format of the write up looks like a script...

Thanks :)
ďYou can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force.Ē Ė Pubilius Syrus

Offline nosuchmember

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Re: Forever Young: Please review
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2019, 02:38:17 PM »
Thank you for sharing. Very good script.   
Good luck with your writing.

Offline Kit

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Re: Forever Young: Please review
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2019, 11:26:26 AM »
Hi glewis,

There is also a "Review my Script" section under workshops, where you might post this and get additional feedback.

Good luck,

Kit