Author Topic: Love Derek (1326 Words) (Sci-fi, Literary Novel)  (Read 546 times)

Offline poetryman123

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 88
Love Derek (1326 Words) (Sci-fi, Literary Novel)
« on: February 03, 2019, 04:08:06 PM »

Love, Derek
By Yonathan Asefaw



Chapter 1
It lives

Every robot deserves some time alone, including me, since I James Scarborough, or known through my P.H.D as Dr Scarborough. I’ve built a robot just in time for the holidays, awhile back there was a brain fart which exploded through me as I tinkered through steel coils and other materials. Then I handled the wires to form a robot and a eureka happened!

“Finally,” I said. “Welcome Derek.”

Derek was finally released into the world, octopus-like arms swayed back and forth in random directions for me to even see in the first place. It’s blue with white exteriors which seemed like a miracle to me that he wasn’t red or green. As it may malfunction to those colours, seemingly it was a strange sight to observe my creation with all the blood, sweat, and tears I made profusely to myself. When tinkering the mechanics of the cords and a flick of a switch at the back of the robots head it came to life. From then on it was certain the world was going to be a better now that I have a best friend whose name will be known as Derek.

“Hi who are you?” asked the machine.

“I created you, your name is Derek.”

“Like Robot, android perhaps and why Derek?”

“It’s my son’s middle name.”

“Ah,” said Derek. “very Interesting, how did you build me?”

“That is classified information.”

“Tell me.”

I plugged the machine which was on his back and turned it off. The plug still working somehow and I wonder on how it still operates.

“You forgot the other plug.” said Derek.

“No I did not.”

“Yes you did look.”

I saw another cord which I completely forgot about, it was in case which I then tore right off causing the android to malfunction. But I wasn’t sure what to do next as I am trying my best to handle the broken cords with my bare hands. There was tension in the air as men in white coats came over which to my surprise were the scietents which was reliving to my eyes and my life.

“Something wrong Dr?” asked the scitesetes.

“Nothing really, just some techicnal difficulties with the robot that’s all.”

“I see.” said the clean shaven man. “Well let me know if there is anything I do sir.”

“Well you can certianlty close the door my friend.” I said to the white coat scietist.

Once I closed the door the lights inside of him started flickering which I then got myself to fixing up the tangled cords that went loop-de-loop around the robots head. There was a sudden noise in where I decided to take a look around. But unforuntely there was no noise and I was hearing things despite the fact that I may have sabotaged the machine for bloody sakes. Now the question is: may I be able to take control of the situation.

“What to do what to do.” I thought to myself.

I then got myself out of the building as I thought that the robot may have gotten himself another cord for him to use against me. I created him, I knew he would one day start taking over the world and with that I then sgtared to get myself into a pickle. Of couse it wasn’t because I made a bit of noise with the machine and all but because of me trying to untagle the cords of the andriod. There was a slight chance I may not survive an onsalught of words and whatnot the robot was trying to take me down and as I went down with the robt instead. The thoing is is that the machine sprang from his seat and started writing letters to himself I didn’t know why he was doing that but I wondered if it was because he was just trying to be artisici with his writing because he was trying to be coy or something? Lee Ping came over to discuss what was going on with the robot. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go down but I knew he was going to be a bit under the weather about it in the firstr place.

“So this robot of yours, is it safe to be using in the first place?” asked Lee.

“I don’t know, how in the world is it still wiring anyway? May be an override or an error of sorts.”

“How?”

“Well it seems I may have overestimated the robots CPU, it’s as powerful as ever.”

The robot recited words as he wrote them with quickening pace.

“Here you go.” said Derek.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“This is a letter that I would like you to send to a friend of mine back in Sleepville.”

“Sleepville?” I said with a bewilrdering stare “What in the world is that?”

“I made it up in my head.”

“You are a machine, machines don’t know how to be artisitic,”

“You created me and I happen to be unique.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I am taking over this establishment and making it my own domain.”

I finally pulled the second cord which was attached to his back and from there the robot was down. And from there the macine shutted itself and I was relived formr its babble and needed to go home and get some rest. The day came to an end and I needed to get some food to eat. I went to the refrigator and got some nachos to gobble down and from there it was when I decided to get some sleep for I had to make some changes to the robots configuarations and it seemed to me that I knew the consquwces of the machine was trying to shut me down along with it but I was certain the robot could not get any obtuse but from there it was time for me to get sleep just like what the robot said Sleepville. Do android dream of electric sheep? Well certainly not unless they are capalbe of an impleuentation of the sort. But I now see the point in this endeavor and I needed to find out ways of controlling the robot. And from there I went to sleep knowing the machine is safe and sound and shut down for the day.

***

The next day I woke up and found myself with a clutttered room. The bed messy along with the bedsheet but from there it seemed I needed to fix my bed in order to get a sense of satfisfaction of having a clean room. But I knew I needed a way to get itself clean again for the time being. I found a way to brush the entire house with just one brrom. And I needed to get out of the house quickly for who knows what Derek will do if hde gets up again to do his daily notes of the day. There was antispation in the air about the entire time if I was going to get to the lab first to know about the fact Derek was going to scribble down or try to escape the lab with some adventures in mind. Since I can tell that the robot wanted to go on an adventure: I progammed him that way.









 

 


« Last Edit: February 05, 2019, 05:47:24 PM by poetryman123 »
yonathanasefaw.wordpress.com

Offline nosuchmember

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1067
    • Heartsong's Poetry  Diary
Re: Love Derek (1326 Words) (Sci-fi, Literary Novel)
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2019, 06:30:42 PM »


Love, Derek
By Yonathan Asefaw



Chapter 1
It lives

Every robot deserves some time alone, including me, since I James Scarborough, or known through my P.H.D as Dr Scarborough. I’ve built a robot just in time for the holidays, awhile back there was a brain fart which exploded through me as I tinkered through steel coils and other materials. Then I handled the wires to form a robot and a eureka happened!

“Finally,” I said. “Welcome Derek.”

Derek was finally released into the world, octopus-like arms swayed back and forth in random directions for me to even see in the first place. It’s blue with white exteriors which seemed like a miracle to me that he wasn’t red or green. As it may malfunction to those colours, seemingly it was a strange sight to observe my creation with all the blood, sweat, and tears I made profusely to myself. When tinkering the mechanics of the cords and a flick of a switch at the back of the robots head it came to life. From then on it was certain the world was going to be a better now that I have a best friend whose name will be known as Derek.

“Hi who are you?” asked the machine.

“I created you, your name is Derek.”

“Like Robot, android perhaps and why Derek?”

“It’s my son’s middle name.”

“Ah,” said Derek. “very Interesting, how did you build me?”

“That is classified information.”

“Tell me.”

I plugged the machine which was on his back and turned it off. The plug still working somehow and I wonder how come it still works.

“You forgot the other plug.” said Derek.

“No I did not.”

“Yes you did look.”

I saw another cord which I completely forgot about, it was in case which I then tore right off causing the android to malfunction. But I wasn’t sure what to do next as I am trying my best to handle the broken cords with my bare hands. There was tension in the air as men in white coats came over which to my surprise were the scietents which was reliving to my eyes and my life.

“Something wrong Dr?” asked the scitesetes.

“Nothing really, just some techicnal difficulties with the robot that’s all.”

“I see.” said the clean shaven man. “Well let me know if there is anything I do sir.”

“Well you can certianlty close the door my friend.” I said to the white coat sceitenest.

Once I closed the door the lights inside of him started flickering which I then got myself to fixing up the tangled cords that went loop-de-loop around the robots head. There was a sudden noise in where I decidded to take a look around. But unforuntely there was no noise and I was hearing things despite the fact that I may have sabostaged the machine for bloody sakes. Now the question is: may I be able to take control of the situation.

“What to do what to do.” I thought to myself.

I then got myself out of the building as I thought that the robot may have gotten himself another cord for him to use against me. I created him, I knew he would one day start taking over the world and with that I then sgtared to get myself into a pickle. Of couse it wasn’t because I made a bit of nosue with the machine and all but because of me trying to untagle the cords of the machine. There was a slight chance I may not survive an onsalught of words and whatnot the robot was trying to take me down and as I went down with the robt instead. The thoing is is that the machine sprang from his seat and started writing letters to himself I didn’t know why he was doing that but I wondered if it was because he was just trying to be artisici with his writing because he was trying to be coy or something? Lee Ping came over to discuss what was going on with the rbot. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go down but I knew he was going to be a bit under the weather about it in the firstr place.

“So this robot of yours, is it safe to be using in the first place?” asked Lee.

“I don’t know, how in the world is it still wiring anyway? May be an override or an error of sorts.”

“How?”

“Well it seems I may have overestimated the robots CPU, it’s as powerful as ever.”

The robot recited words as he wrote them with quickening pace.

“Here you go.” said Derek.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“This is a letter that I would like you to send to a friend of mine back in Sleepville.”

“Sleepville?” I said with a bewilrdering stare “What in the world is that?”

“I made it up in my head.”

“You are a machine, machines don’t know how to be artisitic,”

“You created me and I happen to be unique.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I am taking over this establishment and making it my own domain.”

I finally pulled the second cord which was attached to his back and from there the robot was down. And from there the macine shutted itself and I was relived formr its babble and needed to go home and get some rest. The day came to an end and I needed to get some food to eat. I went to the refrigator and got some nachos to gobble down and from there it was when I decided to get some sleep for I had to make some changes to the robots configuarations and it seemed to me that I knew the consquwces of the machine was trying to shut me down along with it but I was certain the robot could not get any obtuse but from there it was time for me to get sleep just like what the robot said Sleepville. Do android dream of electric sheep? Well certainly not unless they are capalbe of an impleuentation of the sort. But I now see the point in this endeavor and I needed to find out ways of controlling the robot. And from there I went to sleep knowing the machine is safe and sound and shut down for the day.

***

The next day I woke up and found myself with a clutttered room. The bed messy along with the bedsheet but from there it seemed I needed to fix my bed in order to get a sense of satfisfaction of having a clean room. But I knew I needed a way to get itself clean again for the time being. I found a way to brush the entire house with just one brrom. And I needed to get out of the house quickly for who knows what Derek will do if hde gets up again to do his daily notes of the day. There was antispation in the air about the entire time if I was going to get to the lab first to know about the fact Derek was going to scribble down or try to escape the lab with some adventures in mind. Since I can tell that the robot wanted to go on an adventure: I progammed him that way.


The story is very good. There are many spelling mistakes that need to be corrected. Just a small example:

I finally pulled the second cord which was attached to his back and from there the robot was down. And from there the macine [machine] shutted itself [shut down]and I was relived[relieved] formr [from] its babble and needed to go home and get some rest.

I would be happy to help with spelling errors, if you would like.   There are other mistakes but all are correctable. Best of luck with your writing.     Jan
« Last Edit: February 03, 2019, 07:11:03 PM by heartsongjt »

Offline landmersm

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 141
    • Better the Devil at Wordpress
Re: Love Derek (1326 Words) (Sci-fi, Literary Novel)
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2019, 08:21:53 AM »
When I read sci-fi, especially anything about AI or something of a technical nature, I want to believe that whoever is telling the story knows what they are talking about.  You missed that mark very early on with
Quote
awhile back there was a brain fart which exploded through me as I tinkered through steel coils and other materials. Then I handled the wires to form a robot and a eureka happened!

I'm not saying you have to actually be a scientist who builds robots and gives them sentient life, but it might help to do a little reading about people who do that (or are attempting to do that.)

Now, and I say this without a hint a cruelty, maybe if you had the story take place far in the future where bringing AI to life simply involved putting pieces together from a cereal box and any old redneck from a trailer park could do it . . . . that might work.  (If you do that and make millions from it, I want my cut ;D )

Oh, and the spelling mistakes.  Lots and lots of spelling mistakes.
My blog is  https://betterdevil.wordpress.com/  (It's new-ish!)

Also, check out my self-published first novel, The Last Time

@ http://a.co/d/hP980yk  (Amazon link)

Offline poetryman123

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 88
Re: Love Derek (1326 Words) (Sci-fi, Literary Novel)
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2019, 11:07:59 AM »
I had no idea but thanks for your comments.
yonathanasefaw.wordpress.com

Offline poetryman123

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 88
Re: Love Derek (1326 Words) (Sci-fi, Literary Novel)
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2019, 11:08:57 AM »
I had no idea but thanks for your comments.

I will fix them thank you by the way.
yonathanasefaw.wordpress.com

Offline poetryman123

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 88
Re: Love Derek (1326 Words) (Sci-fi, Literary Novel)
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2019, 12:07:41 PM »
When I read sci-fi, especially anything about AI or something of a technical nature, I want to believe that whoever is telling the story knows what they are talking about.  You missed that mark very early on with
I'm not saying you have to actually be a scientist who builds robots and gives them sentient life, but it might help to do a little reading about people who do that (or are attempting to do that.)

Now, and I say this without a hint a cruelty, maybe if you had the story take place far in the future where bringing AI to life simply involved putting pieces together from a cereal box and any old redneck from a trailer park could do it . . . . that might work.  (If you do that and make millions from it, I want my cut ;D )

Oh, and the spelling mistakes.  Lots and lots of spelling mistakes.


Ok I'll set it in the future then.
yonathanasefaw.wordpress.com

Offline landmersm

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 141
    • Better the Devil at Wordpress
Re: Love Derek (1326 Words) (Sci-fi, Literary Novel)
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2019, 05:00:13 PM »
Take my advice for what it is:  The opinion of some random internet person.

Don't feel like you have to please anyone on this board. Make the story be what you want it to be. I'm just providing feedback and - more than likely - poor advice.


Best of luck. ;)
My blog is  https://betterdevil.wordpress.com/  (It's new-ish!)

Also, check out my self-published first novel, The Last Time

@ http://a.co/d/hP980yk  (Amazon link)

Offline poetryman123

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 88
Re: Love Derek (1326 Words) (Sci-fi, Literary Novel)
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2019, 05:10:27 PM »
Thanks my friend. Sure thing.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2019, 05:12:19 PM by poetryman123 »
yonathanasefaw.wordpress.com