Author Topic: Notorious virtue  (Read 391 times)

Offline dlp

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Notorious virtue
« on: December 16, 2018, 02:36:01 PM »
Hyper-pious sobriety, raise your vain glorious head!

Notorious  virtue stand before the throne,
and kiss the feet of your left hemispheric cortical,
mono deterministic,  serialized   machinations!

Hubris.

Unbounded savage pride,
beckons the spasms of unfettered, naked
auto-sodomations .

But the chord is torn, severed by the Dionysian  liberator.

May the water free my garbanzo bean

Offline heartsongjt

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  • A/K/A Jan (Sanford) Tetstone
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Re: Notorious virtue
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2018, 07:50:01 PM »
Hi dlp, I'd comment on your poem but I already did.   jt
http://mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=67042.msg1208810#msg1208810
Words are Weapons of Demons and Saints

Offline Thral Dom

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Re: Notorious virtue
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2018, 05:48:12 PM »
Bravo!

I'm not much a poetry reader, but this one did strike me.

Doesn't it speak of your relationship to your mind? Or how your see your mind, as being a compartmentalized thing? So, the poet diminutizes him/herself in localizing all these egoistical, analytical, calculating horrors to something alien, not self (left-brained).
The cord (corpus callosum) being torn and the liberator being the escape into pure (Dionysian) sensuality.
May the water (unbridled flow) free my garbanzo bean.

(To flow freely, and forget the material existence of the brain?)

I'm not qualified to comment on the structure or meter of your poem.

But, in my humble opinion, the poem is quite brilliant.

It could also work as an insult to an outwardly pompous and overly intellectual person.

I understand it's not done, to reveal the essence of a poem.

But it is well constructed and, I appreciate it.
Thanks.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2018, 06:11:06 PM by Thral Dom »

Offline dlp

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Re: Notorious virtue
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2018, 06:27:22 PM »
thank you thral  for not  only reading but commenting on my poem. i think the poem is clear in it's meaning.  the term "auto-sodomation" comes to you via the great salvador dahli. quit the image.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2018, 02:25:07 PM by dlp »

Offline indar

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Re: Notorious virtue
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2018, 01:50:49 PM »
This writing seems hyperbolic to me and lacking imagery. A lot of abstract language in this one that tells me more about the mindset of the writer than the subject that is being written about. I also wonder about the reader having to depend on the knowledge of a different artist in order to access the writing-seems lazy. Dali was a fine example of personalized symbolism e.g. ants as symbols of masturbation. How meaningful is that kind of mind-masturbation to the uninformed audience/reader? I am still trying to answer such questions for myself.

Offline dlp

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Re: Notorious virtue
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2018, 02:23:48 PM »

 
you don't need to know who came up with the word auto-sodomation, it could have been Einstein, i was just giving credit to him.  it's not even a real word. the image of f*cking yourself in the ass, or performing oral sex on yourself is quit the image.the writing is indeed hyperbolic, don't know about the mind set thing, but if that's the way you see it--that's good with me.

Offline dlp

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Re: Notorious virtue
« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2018, 07:56:58 PM »
just did a little resrach, here is what i found     the ants were meant to signify death, decay, or strong sexual desire. He has a painting call "the  great masturbator (1929).   maybe that is where you got your thinking about ants.

Offline indar

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Re: Notorious virtue
« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2018, 09:19:42 AM »
OK I looked up the meaning attributed to his ant image online and it is quite different from the explanation I remember from art school lectures (yawn). But whatever his meaning, the point I make is that the imagery must be explained. I guess that because Dali is an excellent technician and his paintings are intriguing to many it doesn't matter. And there are writers as well who deal with very personal imagery or even wordplay without meaning. My remark about your writing is that I don't know where I stand re the controversy over the validity of such highly personalized art. It does not inspire me with aesthetic awe. That's my personal judgement.

Offline dlp

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Re: Notorious virtue
« Reply #8 on: December 27, 2018, 11:39:00 AM »
fair enough --peace