Author Topic: The Heart to Love You  (Read 239 times)

JanTetstone

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The Heart to Love You
« on: November 26, 2018, 06:19:16 PM »
The Heart to Love You

God gave me the heart to love you

Then placed you beyond my reach

 God gave me a vision of true love
 then darkened the way that leads to you.

 God let me see how our love would be
 then gave me a choice:
 find love for loves sake or
 let another's love find me.....

 Let me say, to you my love, wherever
 you be ....
 I am but a drop of sand to one day
 be blown away......
 But, my love for you spans worlds
 and is as alive in spirit
 as love can be in the flesh.

 I must choose the latter And hold to
 the love I have in my heart for you.

 We are but strangers in this world
 but in worlds to be, I will find you
 holding your love out to me
 and together, my love,
 We will always be.

                 

 

Offline indar

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Re: The Heart to Love You
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2018, 07:36:36 PM »
Hi Jan,

You declared yourself a "heart writer" and I see from this poem you are deep into the romantic. Whenever I read a poem on this forum that has as its main theme the word "love" I think of the stickies at the top of the poetry board written by the wonderful writer Aimee. I think you'd do well to exchange the word "Love" on occasion for words that help the reader understand the nature of this love. I myself review what Aimee said about abstract language etc-- been helpful to me over the years

JanTetstone

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Re: The Heart to Love You
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2018, 07:57:57 PM »
Hi Jan,

You declared yourself a "heart writer" and I see from this poem you are deep into the romantic. Whenever I read a poem on this forum that has as its main theme the word "love" I think of the stickies at the top of the poetry board written by the wonderful writer Aimee. I think you'd do well to exchange the word "Love" on occasion for words that help the reader understand the nature of this love. I myself review what Aimee said about abstract language etc-- been helpful to me over the years
Thank you indar. The thing about being a heart writer is one does not change words to impress the reader. If they did they wouldn't be a heart writer.

Offline indar

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Re: The Heart to Love You
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2018, 08:22:41 PM »
Point taken :)) <3 <3
« Last Edit: November 27, 2018, 08:24:36 PM by indar »

Offline dlp

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Re: The Heart to Love You
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2018, 03:24:17 PM »
what is a heart writer?  if someone writes a poem without the reader in mind, then why not just keep it in a journal?

Offline indar

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Re: The Heart to Love You
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2018, 03:48:27 PM »
I think I understand. I've just written something about the thrill of tying a message to a helium balloon and sending it out into the universe--no response needed. That's how I feel about my writing. If I understand Jan's use of the term "Heart Writer" we read what a heart writer writes--or not, it doesn't matter. It was about the sending--putting it out there. Am I right Jan?

I definitely write with the reader in mind. I even write with the idea of submitting what I've written for publication on the rare occasion that I think it's good enough. Of what I write some even gets published. I find that very satisfying. I fancy myself as a writer with something of value to say to other people and I always appreciate these forums and participants that help me clear up wording in ways that are helpful to my readers. I actually like when members take the risk of criticizing what I've written. Its so much safer and easier to simply toss off a few words like "great poem", "love this" but truth is the better course.

We all have our own goals and challenges. As a matter of fact I'd like to hear what others are doing along these lines.

JanTetstone

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Re: The Heart to Love You
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2018, 04:11:31 PM »
what is a heart writer?  if someone writes a poem without the reader in mind, then why not just keep it in a journal?

dip, I hope this answers your question.

A heart writer writes from the heart,
holding to the belief that what is
being written is meant to be.

That what they write anyone with a
heart, can identify with.

That those who have loved; lost someone
dear to their heart; been down roads
many will never travel; been betrayed, etc.,
will be able to comprehend the full meaning
of what has been written. Because they too
have experienced these things.

A heart writer has no desire to sell
their inner thoughts, for money, profit,
or fame.

That's the difference in a taught poet/poetess,
and a heart writer.

If any MWC member find fault with my writing
don't be shy. I'm a firm believer that a
poem stands or falls on its own merit.
An example{This poem got lots of negative comments:
http://mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=29515.0

jt
« Last Edit: November 28, 2018, 04:16:08 PM by JanTetstone »

Offline dlp

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Re: The Heart to Love You
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2018, 11:08:44 PM »
you  have a view of God that come straight out of the Hebrew bible. A vengeful God.    I don't know if God is to blame here.  the N  seem to have a fantasy love. One that she/he has conjured up, and somehow excepts to run into some time in the future, in another world.  quit a fantasy for sure.  I made some changed to the lay out I didn't change any words.



God gave me the heart to love you,
then placed you beyond my reach.
God gave me a vision of true love,
 then darkened the way that leads to you.
 God let me see how our love would be
 then gave me a choice:
 find love for loves sake or
 let another's love find me.....

 Let me say, to you my love, wherever
 you be ....
 I am but a drop of sand to one day
 be blown away......
 But, my love for you spans worlds
 and is as alive in spirit
 as love can be in the flesh.

 I must choose the latter And hold to
 the love I have in my heart for you.

 We are but strangers in this world
 but in worlds to be, I will find you
 holding your love out to me
 and together, my love,
 We will always be.

I think of this as a diary entry

JanTetstone

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Re: The Heart to Love You
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2018, 08:38:39 AM »
Thank you dip.   My god is a god of love and peace. As for making changes in my poem. 'The Heart to Love You' was written in 2012. The original write:

The Heart to Love You

God gave me the heart to love you
Then placed you beyond my reach
God gave me a vision of true love
then darkened the way that leads to you.

God let me see how our love would be
then gave me a choice:
find love for loves sake or
let another's love find me.....

Let me say, to you my love, wherever
you be ....
I am but a drop of sand to one day
be blown away......
But, my love for you spans worlds
and is as alive in spirit
as love can be in the flesh.

I must choose the latter And hold to
the love I have in my heart for you.

We are but strangers in this world
but in worlds to be, I will find you
holding your love out to me
and together, my love,
We will always be.
               -Jan Tetstone

You are correct...this poem, along with thousands of other writings, is in my Heartsong Poetry Diary.  jt