Author Topic: Swallow  (Read 209 times)

Offline Royal Kumari

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    • Findings: A compilation of thoughts, images, and words
Swallow
« on: November 20, 2018, 12:10:39 AM »
Remember when you were a morsel
   traveling down the ridges of
   Godís esophagus?
Your limbs flailed;
Your body, coated in saliva,
   was adequately lubricated.

Remember when you came back
   to this tired old planet
   from your 507th existence?
Your body was nice; yet,
Your unconscious, fixated on past lives,
   made your personality split.

Remember when, in a dream,
   you inhabited your soul
   in some other plane?
Your life was better.
You didnít hate yourself so much.
   Then, you awoke estranged.


____________________________________

Returning to you all with a rather strange poem.
Needs work, so lay it on me!
Been meaning to get back for too long now...

All best,
RK
« Last Edit: November 20, 2018, 12:20:03 AM by Royal Kumari »

JanTetstone

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Re: Swallow
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2018, 01:59:53 PM »
Remember when you were a morsel
   traveling down the ridges of
   Godís esophagus?
Your limbs flailed;
Your body, coated in saliva,
   was adequately lubricated.

Remember when you came back
   to this tired old planet
   from your 507th existence?
Your body was nice; yet,
Your unconscious, fixated on past lives,
   made your personality split.

Remember when, in a dream,
   you inhabited your soul
   in some other plane?
Your life was better.
You didnít hate yourself so much.
   Then, you awoke estranged.


____________________________________

Returning to you all with a rather strange poem.
Needs work, so lay it on me!
Been meaning to get back for too long now...

All best,
RK

RK   Reading this made me think of reincarnation, loss of identity, with some sadness mixed in.

Very well written.   Welcome back.                       jt

Offline Mark T

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Re: Swallow
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2018, 04:45:11 PM »

Great opening sentence, humbling. The poem, for me, is like the musings of an old soul sensing the veil. It could be that the lives we lead here are just single, passing fruits of the wise old tree we are, that only needs the nourishment of pure love. But why does everything have to be so confounding in the meantime?

I like the poem a lot, and have no real crits. The last line grounds the piece well. 

Offline indar

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Re: Swallow
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2018, 10:02:25 AM »
Very intriguing poem Rk. The birth as traveling down God's esophagus analogy is so perfect in every aspect I can't imagine why someone hasn't written this poem a long time ago. I wondered about the significance of the number 507 and googled it:

https://researchmaniacs.com/Numerology/Angel-Numbers/Angel-Number-507.htm

But that doesn't seem relevant. I notice the real life of the entity written about here is on the other plane where the body started out "nice". Moments of self hatred, perhaps bouts of depression countered by moments of spiritual uplift seems to be the theme here. Love that it's written in the form of a question addressed to the reader---this reader is drawn in.

I also like the title--swallow is a loaded word in the context of this poem beyond the opening analogy--so much about having to accept; controlling emotion etc.