Author Topic: Advice on this description about friendship and if anyone can relate?  (Read 556 times)

Offline Lulu777

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Right now, I am thinking that things arenít quite the same. Every time I think this, I think of you and I wonder if you think it too. Do you feel the same? Do you hate those waves of guilt and dissatisfaction, or do you even know them yet? They havenít left ever since I realised that things arenít quite the same. It hasnít been a simple change. There has been no readiness or comfortability to cushion us. It has been less like a change and more like a shift Ė awkward, and turbulent, and serviced with an everlasting sink that resides in the pit of my stomach. Do you see that I sink further with every look, every word and every touch? Do you know that the further down I go, the harder it will be to return to what we once were?

I know how Iíve felt about you, and this entire situation for a while now, but it felt easier to handle everything by not handling anything at all. It helped to build my own ignorance, it was my way of coping. The stuffiness and confusion of Ďusí felt safer because it gave me more time to avoid. I regret to admit that havenít cherished every second with you, but instead, every second that has past where I could avoid digging into the roughness and grit of what Ďusí really meant, and what 'us' had really become. At that time I was scared. I was scared of you. Iím still scared now, but no longer in the same way. Iím more frightened as I anticipate what I will become if I avoid this truth any longer.

I need to confess that I, as in me and my thoughts and my feelings were never really a part of us. How could there ever be an Ďusí when It was always you? Growing up with you has been damaging. Iím hurt, and only now am I starting to see the wounds from my absence in this so-called Ďfriendshipí.
Comfortability. This is a feeling I am entirely deprived of when we are together, but you are entirely consumed by it. Itís not healthy. You have used your comfortability, your affection and your love to act selfishly. You never shared it.

We are not even lost. As far as I can tell, we no longer exist. Now that I know that there is nothing really left to find, I have the freedom to seek something else, something that is not you for once. When I find it, Iíll be gone, and you too will realise that we are lost. What you wonít realise is that you lost me a long a time ago. Thingís will never be quite the same again.

Offline Tak

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Re: Advice on this description about friendship and if anyone can relate?
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2018, 11:28:50 AM »
For me, the separation of the mc's questions to the other, filtered the moments. I thought a more direct statement would show more meaning. The same went for 'thinking/felt', make the mc step right into the truth of their beliefs, instead of standing back in the unsure,thought,felt area.

That's all I had to say about the writing. I wanted less of a narrative perspective, and rather more direct. Could be just my thoughts not in line with yours.  The last line seemed over worked. The 'again', the repeat of the line from the beginning. I mean if this was re-occurring, then the 'again' could have been the first word. I am not sure of the meaning so this is me off the cuff.

I'm not sure of a market to send to. It's an old story told a million times. Still, it's an open market so why not.

Offline Mark T

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Re: Advice on this description about friendship and if anyone can relate?
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2018, 12:22:07 PM »

Sounds like a narcissist/empath relationship. Lulu777, kindly introduce yourself on the Welcome Board, and take the time to familiarize yourself with the posting guidelines. Welcome to MWC.


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Re: Advice on this description about friendship and if anyone can relate?
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2018, 10:20:36 AM »
I never know how to respond to posts like this, aimed at one particular individual rather than to a wider audience. Maybe it was written and posted on the spur of the moment when the OP's feelings were particular raw, but it does nothing for me. I'm sorry to come across so harsh, but this isn't a self-help forum so I can't begin to understand why you chose to post it on here for public consumption.