Author Topic: Two Birds  (Read 1321 times)

Offline indar

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Re: Two Birds
« Reply #15 on: December 22, 2018, 01:25:48 PM »
Thanks dlp,

Not certain how you are counting stanzas--some might call the single word "Below" as stanza 2 or perhaps the section that starts with "in the silvery flood"

I think my intention in using the word "below" was to plant in the readers mind a kind of idea: "downstream" or a similar image that increases a sense of the vulnerability of the silvery lagoon to the action of the pumpjack.

Offline dlp

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Re: Two Birds
« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2018, 02:12:17 PM »
not up on stanzas  i guess --the one about the eyes-that is the part i'm talking about.  meant nothing about below. that needs to stay.  sorry for the confusion.  dlp

Offline indar

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Re: Two Birds
« Reply #17 on: December 22, 2018, 02:43:01 PM »
my fault---you are right about which is stanza 2--I'm distracted these days ;) ;)

Offline poetryman123

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Re: Two Birds
« Reply #18 on: February 03, 2019, 09:31:44 AM »
Good imagery, i also like the wordplay used here. Good work.
yonathanasefaw.wordpress.com

Offline indar

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Re: Two Birds
« Reply #19 on: February 03, 2019, 09:43:33 AM »
Thank you for the read and positive feedback, PM