Author Topic: Really really need help with personal statement intro  (Read 120 times)

Offline dermguru

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Really really need help with personal statement intro
« on: October 26, 2018, 10:44:21 AM »
Hello :)

I would like to thank any and everyone who will consider my post and provide any suggestions, examples etc. #awesomeness lol . I am currently writing my personal statement and having quite a hard time with the introduction. My issue is painting a vivid picture of a dirty restaurant attic of which I was forced to make a temporary home of while i was 16 homeless and a determined high schooler. I would like to create and be able to put my audience in that setting without really putting myself in directly. I want to paint a picture of a young boy in a dark attic using the light from his phone light to study .  Then i want to follow it up with this question: "one question that I get asked a lot as young and independent peer, is: do i regret leaving my home at the age of 16?....

Thanks in a million!!!!
« Last Edit: October 26, 2018, 12:00:35 PM by dermguru »

Offline JanTetstone

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Re: Really really need help with personal statement intro
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2018, 11:14:04 AM »
Hello :)

I would like to thank any and everyone who will consider my post and provide suggestions. #awesomeness lol . I am currently writing my personal statement and having quite a hard time with the introduction. My issue is painting a vivid picture of a dirty restaurant attic of which I was forced to make a temporary home of while i was 16 homeless and a determined high schooler. I would like to create and be able to put my audience in that setting without really putting myself in directly. I want to paint a picture of a young boy in a dark attic using the light from his phone light to study .  Then i want to follow it up with this question: "one question that I get asked a lot as young and independent peer, is: do i regret leaving my home at the age of 16?....

Thanks in a million!!!!

"My issue is painting a vivid picture of a dirty restaurant attic of which I was forced to make a temporary home"

There are many teenagers who choose to leave home at 16 and younger. Some because they were abused at home and some because they think  they are old enough to be out on their own who live on the streets.

"do i regret leaving my home at the age of 16?"

When  writing your story ask yourself what is there about your leaving home  that sets your story apart from other teenagers who chose/choose to leave home.


Good luck with your writing.         jt
« Last Edit: October 27, 2018, 10:44:06 AM by JanTetstone »

Offline dermguru

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Re: Really really need help with personal statement intro
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2018, 11:59:14 AM »
Thank you kindly

Offline JanTetstone

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Re: Really really need help with personal statement intro
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2018, 12:17:53 PM »
You Welcome.
I found this story. I thought you might like to read.    jt


Running away: Leila's story

Leila shares her experience of running away from home after the arguments with her mum became too much to cope with. She hopes that her story will encourage others to think about the dangers and talk to someone.


"I was born in a really strict country and moved to England with my mum when I was 8. My mum and I started arguing a lot when I was 13 as I wanted to go out with my friends and my mum didnít want me to as she was worried about what Iíd get mixed up in.

"She thought that England was really dangerous and she was worried that Iíd get into drink and drugs. My friends all had more freedom than me and I didnít want to miss out on being able to go out.

"I saw the dangers but I was quite street smart so I didnít think they would affect me. Iíd say to my mum ĎIím with my friends, just trust me that I wonít start drinking or doing drugsí but she was still worried. I felt like I was stuck between 2 cultures.
Read More:
https://www.childline.org.uk/get-involved/real-life-stories/running-away-leilas-story/