Reading some poems is like driving offroad in a shoddy vehicle, but this was smooth as butter. After the first line I trusted the language completely and I just went with it and questioned nothing. Every image had an original flair to it.

In terms of form I'm personally not a fan of the interjections in itallics.

Hi Mark T, thank you for sharing this poem. I'm a prose writer and usually stay in the genre of social realism but will do my best to give helpful comments.

Overall, there are some strong images. In particular, I like your contrast between fantastical and concrete images (e.g., contrast between fantastical images in the verse starting with 'Numbers rotate unscathed' and concrete picture of 'vanilla ice-cream/ ... between sandy toes). However, the images don't seem to make much sense together - the poem doesn't seem to have a unifying thread. Are the italicised interjections from someone who is trying to write a poem? Why suddenly mention Zen and Chi at the end?

There are also some images which seem redundant or don't carry much meaning when you think about it. For example:
 
- What is 'resonance ringing'? Doesn't the word 'resonance' already capture the idea of 'ringing'?
- How are Mondays bony?
- What is 'liquid birdsong'? Some specificity about details such as what the bird is singing, what bird it is, what sort of voice it has etc might be more effective.
- What is 'loose intuition'?

Again, please remember that I'm not a poet and haven't been exposed to much poetry either. Therefore, I'm reading this from a beginner's eye - it's possible that my inexperience caused me to miss some important elements.

Thank you again for sharing your work
Inky

Thanks for comments, Inky and dip. dip, you have it close enough. Poems about poetry are never a good idea but I tried. Think of each stanza as crumpled ball of paper in a corner as the poet tries different things in search of a truth to be found. So they are all separate poem attempts which could be the unifying aspect but that's too abstract to pick up from the writing, I guess. My nod to form is tailoring line lengths to create shapes, which influences word choices and thus the meaning, if any, to be found in the piece. It becomes what it is.   

Thank you, Linda. Perhaps Zen after all - finding the poetry in poetry?

Thanks ARM, interesting comment as always. Good to see you. 

Thanks Pen.