Author Topic: that night.  (Read 97 times)

Offline ulania

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that night.
« on: September 04, 2018, 06:51:07 AM »
trigger warning: discussion of rape




I think about that night and cry

You tore me open
You lay out every piece of me on my bed
And you didn't bother to ask permission
I didn't even know it was happening

Then you left without putting me back together
Or leaving any instructions
It was up to me to clean my sheets
How can i clean my sheets when i am in parts?

Your face, your name
They anger me
they are constant in my brain but the details of what you did are not
I try to remember, and when i do
I try to forget

I never said you could write your name all over my memories the way you did
I never said you could come into my life or bring your hurricane with you
I never said you could break me and throw away the good bits
I never said you could destroy me then make me wonder if it was my fault
I never said you could leave me in pieces all over my bed, with dirty sheets, no instruction manual on how to be ok again, with your face and your name ever present, in permanent ink branding every piece of me you tore apart

I said no






----- this is obviously a heavy topic and this is just my heart on the page but genuine help would be great, like structure, wording just kind of anything to help me improve thank you!!!!

Offline Mark T

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Re: that night.
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2018, 02:12:06 PM »

The piece seems autobiographical and if so, might be better left alone on your poet's journey. It is a powerful piece. Tinkering with it might improve things from a technical standpoint but would also perhaps diminish the emotional force at work. This is a purge type poem. Keep writing new poems to improve your craft. Just think if you learned one new thing about poetry every day.   

Offline drab

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Re: that night.
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2018, 10:29:41 PM »
This is a powerful poem, with some excellent lines.
All too common an occurrence.
I've found that not [classifying] myself as a 'survivor' has actually improved my life.
Write on  :) 

Offline Mark T

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Re: that night.
« Reply #3 on: Yesterday at 01:47:02 AM »

Hiya drab - slumming it, are you ;D . Good to see you here.