Author Topic: Help with tenses  (Read 564 times)

Offline Loudpurple

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Help with tenses
« on: August 04, 2018, 08:35:23 PM »
Hi, I'd like some help with tenses (or grammar in general) as I'm not a native speaker. And of course overall thoughts on the poem. Gracias  :)

The Shift
I deleted it guys
Thanks Mark for your reply!

« Last Edit: August 12, 2018, 07:50:15 AM by Loudpurple »

Offline Mark T

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Re: Help with tenses
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2018, 05:57:10 AM »
The writing is quite dense in places and therefore difficult to follow - sometimes poetry can be like giving directions - easy to give but not to understand so much. But there are sections that are quite good, in a raw sort of way. I liked this line that stood out for me, and I suggest you try starting the poem with this. The first draft is putting big chunks of thought down and then you can sift through and edit to more accurately define your intentions to the reader. Don't be afraid to slash and burn your words in the review, nothing sacred there and there are plenty more available.

Today I met a woman who's never been a mother,
life denied her, so now I'm another daughter

Just a suggestion. You see how surplus bits fall away so you can get closer to the core of things. Adding the word 'another' clarifies your relationship with your own mother ie normal - it is internal rhyme with 'mother' and smoothens out the meter (rhythm).
« Last Edit: August 10, 2018, 06:00:37 AM by Mark T »


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Re: Help with tenses
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2018, 09:19:30 PM »
I realize the post was removed but just incase other writers are looking for help with tenses:

Gone or Went

Went is the past tense of go.
Gone is the past participle of go.

If you're not sure whether to use gone or went, remember that gone always needs an *auxiliary verb before it (has, have, had, is, am, are, was, were, be), but went doesn't.

auxiliary verb : a verb used in forming the tenses, moods, and voices of other verbs.

Below was taken from a copy of a 1926 English book-I just happen to own.   jt

PRESENT               PAST                PRESENT     
 TENSE                TENSE              PARTICIPLE       

am (is, be)           was                       been
arise                    arose                    arisen
awake                  awoke, awaked      awaked
beat                     beat                     beat, beaten
begin                   began                   begun
bend                    bent                     bent
bet                       bet                       bet
bind                     bound                   bound
bite                      bit                        bitten
blow                     blew                     blown
bring                    brought                 brought
build                    built                       built
burn                     burned, burnt         burned, burnt
burst                    burst                      burst
buy                      brought                  brought

catch                   caught                   caught
choose                 chose                    chosen
come                   came                     come
cost                     cost                       cost

dig                      dug                        dug
do                       did                         done
draw                   drew                       drawn
dream                 dreamed, dreamt     dreamed, dreamt
dress                   dressed, drest         dressed, drest
drink                   drank                      drunk
drive                   drove                      driven

eat                     ate                          eaten

fall                   fell                            fallen 
feel                  felt                           felt
fight                fought                       fought
find                 found                        found
flee                  fled                          fled
fly                   flew                          flown
forget              forgot                       forgotten
freeze              froze                        frozen
get                  got                          got , gotten         

to be continued. . . .   

Good luck with your writing.     jt

« Last Edit: August 29, 2018, 11:05:44 PM by Heartsong »