Author Topic: Part of a fantasy story- 521 words  (Read 260 times)

Offline Rajat

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Part of a fantasy story- 521 words
« on: June 07, 2018, 08:08:00 AM »
Hi all, this is my first attempt at writing a story/novel. It is part of a fantasy story written in conversational form. Your comments will immeasurably help me. Thanks.


You are Kanishq, traveling in a jungle to find Tilism, a magical place. You are accompanied by Chae, an intelligent girl whom you have annoyed a little too much.
You both are still advancing along the river, cutting across small bushes. 
Chae: Enough of questioning me. Why are you here then?
You: This “Projection” tells me that he is a wizard.
Chae: And you followed him? How foolish.
You: Oh! At least I followed my heart, unlike a chief’s pet.
Chae: You dare…
You: Oh! wait… A tiger!
Chae stops and looks around anxiously. She takes her stance to defend herself from any threat.

You: A wild boar… oh no… worse.
   A better company who doesn’t take petty offenses.
Chae stares blankly for a moment and then bursts in laughs.
Chae:  Ha Ha! Fine, I got your point.
You: Thank divinity! Or else your angry eyes would have killed me.
Chae: Okay, enough fooling around. We must focus on the task at hand.
You: We have been searching around this area for days now. As per the “Projection”, we should find it somewhere near.
   Do you remember what he said?
Chae: Yes.
   “It is to be found where bloodlines of Banzaara-land meet.”

You: I guess it may refer to the place where the blood of the first Tilism chief was spread.
Chae: That’s a completely crazy idea. One person’s blood can’t be considered the bloodline of the whole land.
You: Hunhh???
Chae: It must be something more vital for the XYZ land.
Chae (Happy): Yes. Rivers.
   The rivers nurture this land and just like bloodlines, they flow and carry essential element for life, water.
You: Hmm… Congratulations on passing my test. I was just assessing your abilities.
Chae looks at you, annoyed.

Chae: Oh! You wish. If only your brain was as sharp as your tongue.
You: Stop wasting time, let’s search for where the two rivers meet. You really talk too much.

Chae ignores this and moves forward. You decide to stop bothering her for now.

Soon you arrive at the junction where another river, the Rayu, meets the Iwiz.

Chae: Here it is. The Tilism should be nearby.
You: Yes, but how will we recognize it?
Chae: There must be something different, some sign which should indicate the Tilism.

You both start looking around in nearby bushes and shrubs, rocks and trees.
Spending time in vain makes you restless.

You: Did you find anything?
Chae: Not yet.

Frustration at the unsuccessful pursuit and wasted efforts make you lose hope.
You: I don’t think we will find anything here and who knows even this Tilism crap is real or not!
Chae: Hmm… I am not sure.

While you are still thinking about how to convince Chae, you step on a stone and it shifts downward. A cracking noise and trembling of rocks and nearby ground bring you on your knees.

You: What the…
Chae: Look.

(Background change)

You raise your eyes and an unbelievable sight startles you. You can see a rocky structure has emerged out of the ground, with a large rock covering its opening.

The impossible has begun.