Intro to a short story - 700ish words

[suudie]

Hey everyone. I’m in the midst of putting a rather long short story together. It’s clocking in at 4 thousand words and I’m only just now getting to the middle of the it, so it may in fact end up becoming a novella. Who knows. But I’d really like some feedback on the opening of the story. What’s your impression and do you want to keep reading? Let me know your thoughts! Here’s the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VDkUD3AB6Mghe5JsMeNKL80mZRPFwr8GG95L4bjZ7M8

[bailish]

I tried to access your Google Doc, but it told me I was denied access. The normal way to get reviews is to copy the text and paste it in this forum.