Author Topic: Taking a Swipe at Poetry  (Read 44 times)

Offline tryingtobeme

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Taking a Swipe at Poetry
« on: January 15, 2018, 11:05:52 PM »
Hello all,

I am an aspiring writer of all stripes, and have recently been attempting poetry. I would love your feedback, please be honest and frank. Here goes:

The Search

Let them look, but they canít see.
Let them listen, but forbid to hear.
As I whisper from the mountaintop
My truth, two steps too real.

The search began long before You,
Donít flatter Yourself.
Itís been most of my life, really.
A life of perfection where nothing has gone right.

I hate that I love who I should like.
I like that I hate who I should love.
Iím never going to stop looking,
But catch me if you can is deceptively evil.

The cold is still there, it rears its head.
To look it in the eyes is a death wish.
Thereís a brigade of blankets being thrown around me,
But somehow they all seem to miss my heart.

Weíre in this together, you and You and I.
This quest, damned from day one.
But feel free to still follow along, and try not to giggle.
As Iím lying, crying, trying to find Sancho.



(don't have a title for this yet)
Sorry,
Hi.
Should I lie here,
on the couch?
Should I say that Iím good enough?
That I can write well enough?
That it is worth it?
That You are worth it?
This is a very soft couch, an easy
Landing spot.
Jesus, itís dark outside
Already. But in the darkest of the night
Joy cometh in the morning.



(for the moderators of this site, sorry I know I posted this in a few places, please place it in whatever section is most appropriate. Thanks.)