Author Topic: Asphidity Bag  (Read 905 times)

Offline DTF

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Asphidity Bag
« on: December 16, 2017, 10:17:32 AM »
Yellow root and ginseng

and asafoetida filled the bag

it hung on her wall for years

above my grand paws bed



It hung around her neck,

when I was very young

her mother made it long ago,

to help her thru bad times



evil spirits would not stop,

and sickness would pass us by.

company would not come around

unless they wore one too


Offline indar

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Re: Asphidity Bag
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2017, 10:59:37 AM »
How interesting. I want to ask a lot of questions about the content e.g. what is the cultural background behind this practice. If I read it correctly it was your grandfather's mother that hung it over his bed but it was your great grandmother's mother that made it.

You are growing in your writing by leaps and bounds--you've ditched the sing-song rhythm and rhyme that seemed to prevent a statement straight from the heart--this piece seems so real and reads well. Onward!

Offline DTF

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Re: Asphidity Bag
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2017, 12:05:00 PM »
My grand parents were raised in Petros TN , in the mountains of east TN., when I was a child eveyone had a bag.I still have her old Asphidity bag      Thanks for reading and your comments

Offline indar

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Re: Asphidity Bag
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2017, 02:01:09 PM »
My sweetheart was raised in the "backwoods" of east Texas and Arkansas. His grandmother used alum, huckleberry leaves and willow bark near as he can remember.

Offline DTF

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Re: Asphidity Bag
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2017, 02:27:25 PM »
she grew a plant and ground up the root asafoetida it smelled bad

SharonLeigh

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Re: Asphidity Bag
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2017, 10:42:53 PM »
Tannis root?!  :o ;D haha jk. 

Interesting piece! Local customs are fascinating to me.

Offline Gyppo

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Re: Asphidity Bag
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2017, 05:52:08 AM »
I'm not surprised it smelt bad.  asafoetida.  Latin names are usually very descriptive .
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline DTF

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Re: Asphidity Bag
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2017, 07:13:37 AM »
I talked with my sister she said that our grand mother had it in a jar ?????
Thanks for looking

Offline duck

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Re: Asphidity Bag
« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2017, 08:04:42 AM »
While I think the topic is interesting I don't think the poem does it justice to be honest. Firstly, the punctuation is pretty random. Secondly, the use of pronouns only makes the people involved more than vague. There are two females, who remain a she and a her and although it does emerge that one was a grandmother, the other her mother, that's it. Maybe it's not strongly relevant yet, they are together at the heart of the poem. The actual Asphidity Bag is merely a bag of natural ingredients filled with people's fantasies so the people shoould mean something.
The repetition of hanging is a weak effect - once on the wall and once around the N's neck as a child - any connections here or any context or reasoning about why?

Finally, 'evil spirits would not stop' - as written this means the evil spirits continued and were not prevented by the bag but rather were kept alive. However, I am assuming from the next line that you mean they never stopped by or visited your house, thus the bag was successful in warding off the spirits. Sorry for being a bore and overly critical because I think this is a great topic and it is good to see you breaking out of your normal style and rhyme but for the unintiated non-Americans the poem could do so much more IMO

Offline DTF

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Re: Asphidity Bag
« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2017, 11:27:29 AM »
Thank you for reading, I will change things when I learn how
my 10th grade vocabulary does not help in writing a poem

Offline DTF

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Re: Asphidity Bag
« Reply #10 on: December 18, 2017, 11:34:44 AM »
I see what you are talking about  Thank you very much