Author Topic: Malibu is Burning  (Read 764 times)

Offline indar

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Malibu is Burning
« on: December 07, 2017, 12:30:45 PM »
Malibu is Burning

cloud folds over
black to blacker
lit beneath
orange flame
moon hangs round
square screens rave
evacuation
birds do not
escape
exploding trees
lizards crack
peel open
unoticed in the ash
what memorial
to their passing
Moon
ocean
stone
rolls on
« Last Edit: December 07, 2017, 12:36:44 PM by indar »

Offline Mark T

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2017, 01:56:08 PM »

It's good to stretch styles, isn't it? This reads quite staccato-punchy and it's not easy to climb aboard for the flicker-ride. But I think it serves to illustrate the runaway nature of the blazes. Can also work as metaphor for something larger, a societal ill perhaps. The middle section is agreeably full of sound and movement. The ending is very tight and has me floundering a little. As an exercise in short-jab impact, it works well.   

Offline indar

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2017, 02:47:17 PM »
Thanks Mark for the read and comments,

I have a hard time explaining this one to myself. Probably a metaphor for something larger--the fire itself indicates something larger than forest fires of yore. The style--it would have been different were it not for my jittery brain

Offline duck

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2017, 07:47:45 AM »
Hi Indar
An interesting and arresting poem, very different indeed to your normal style. A particularly striking title.

Offline indar

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2017, 10:27:49 AM »
Malibu is quite a long distance to the north but my area has been under a red flag warning for three days. The so-called Lilac fire started early yesterday. It is spreading and has gotten as close as about 30 miles from my house. I tried sleeping with the sheet over my face last night but still eyes and thoart burning from heavy smoke in the air. Will all of California finally go up in flames?

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/southern-california-fires-ventura-county-los-angeles-san-diego-latest-news-map-12-08-2017-live-updating/

Offline indar

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2017, 11:01:18 AM »
Oh I got so involved in my worries I forgot to thank you for the read and comments Dave. Thank you.

Dansinger

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #6 on: December 08, 2017, 11:49:13 AM »
That's powerful poem indeed! Beautiful, sad, intense.
I can almost feel the heat and smell the burning.
The lizard really got to me.

Offline indar

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #7 on: December 08, 2017, 12:52:34 PM »
Thank you Dansinger and welcome.

I am always aware of the loss of even the smallest of lives during these fires. Painful.

Offline DTF

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #8 on: December 08, 2017, 07:56:24 PM »
moon                         I like this  GOOD JOB
ocean
stone
rolls on 

Offline matty11

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #9 on: December 08, 2017, 09:27:08 PM »
Quote
lizards crack
peel open
unnoticed in the ash

the stand-out image for me

Offline drab

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #10 on: December 09, 2017, 11:04:42 PM »
I like this Linda.
Sorry about its origins and hope you stay safe.
To live, with gentle but cunning deceit, and accept the consequences, is the destiny of every man.

Offline indar

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #11 on: December 10, 2017, 02:19:26 AM »
Thank you drab,

The santa Anna (formerly Santana) winds have died down for now, warnings back up for 4 AM tomorrow. Oceanside where I live is no longer under possible evacuation warning. Phew

Offline indar

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #12 on: December 10, 2017, 02:31:40 PM »
Oh Matty and DTF, I am easily confused I didn't see your posts---thank you both for your comments

SharonLeigh

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Re: Malibu is Burning
« Reply #13 on: December 10, 2017, 10:31:38 PM »
Oh, very effective, scary, evocative.