Author Topic: Being an uncle is hazardous. From my 2008 archives.  (Read 367 times)

Offline Gyppo

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Being an uncle is hazardous. From my 2008 archives.
« on: October 15, 2017, 06:20:57 PM »
   Being an Uncle.

   Before becoming a Grandad I had many years of on-the-job training as an Uncle, some of which has stood me in good stead, and some has taught me which things I might want to avoid repeating with my Grandaughter.

   This little episode dates back to 2008

   =====

        My spare phone line is currently out of order.  The faceplate and mounting box are scattered around the floor.

        My nephew phoned to say he only had an outgoing line, and nobody could call in.  His cat had managed to pull out all the wires in his phone socket, his Internet connection was dead, and the cat was living on borrowed time.  He wondered if I knew, just off hand, which colour wire was meant to which terminal.

        Smart-ass here decided the easiest way to find out was to dismantle the spare socket and have a look.  So holding a cross point driver I lay on the floor and wriggled myself - on one side - into the narrow space between computer tower and bookcase.  Then, with a torch held between my teeth, I lay in the Fissure Of Death (FOD) and discovered the faceplate was held on with two ordinary slotted screws rather than cross point,

        Getting back out was not easy.  It was difficult to reverse out and my well-documented fear of tight spaces was kicking in.  But I managed, and found an ordinary screwdriver, and then wriggled back in again.  This manoeuvre requires two right angled turns in my body.  I felt something go 'crunch' in my knee at the same time as the second phone rang.  My nephew ringing on the second line to see if I'd dismembered the spare socket yet.

        I made some polite and reassuring noises and deftly removed the faceplate.  Well, as deftly as one can in that position.  Next time I fit phone sockets they're going to be mounted higher on the wall instead of being tucked away.  But that will involve re-routing the power supply for the computers along the skirting board instead of tucked up nice and neatly under the window frames.

        Removing the face plate wasn't enough to see properly so I had to remove a bit more plastic.  Two more screws, which the driver didn't fit.  Because the screws inside were cross points, and one of them felt as if it had been forced in with an impact driver and a sledge hammer.  Getting enough leverage at my ungainly and uncomfortable angle was a nightmare, but 'needs must when the devil drives', and Crazy Uncles aren't allowed to fail when nephews call for help.  It's part of the job requirements.

        Graham was patiently waiting at the other end of the line, sniggering a little at my description of the Anglo Saxon Luddite of a phone engineer before I managed to get a light onto the wires and tell him what went where.  Inevitably the colours on my system were different from his ;-)

        When I finally emerged from the FOD, pulse racing and sweating like a bull with a nice attack of claustrophobia,  the spare socket was still in bits.

        Since then he has had a workmate come around and sort his phone line, and the Internet failure which prompted the whole debacle - with a little help from the wire-tugging cat - was discovered to be a server failure at the ISP's end and nothing to do with Graham's home network.  Half their subscribers lost the net for a few hours that day.

        Today, about thirty six hours later, my knee is up like a football but the painkillers are starting to kick in so I'm going to bed in the next quarter of an hour or so.

        Life is good ;-)  Not always easy, but still good.

        ===



Offline fire-fly

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Re: Being an uncle is hazardous. From my 2008 archives.
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2017, 09:09:30 PM »
 ;D ;D

So did the cat live mate, that is my question?

Offline Gyppo

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Re: Being an uncle is hazardous. From my 2008 archives.
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2017, 02:29:10 AM »
;D ;D

So did the cat live mate, that is my question?

Yes.  And since then it's gone to live with them in Serbia.  It grew into one of those big and tough old cats that would make a prudent burglar stop and think.  Their Husky dog went overland with them in the car, but the cat flew, in a special crate, at enormous expense. 

I'm told the eventual reunion involved much chasing around and re-establishing of territorial rights, although the two animals get on well enough.  Here in England the dog was the second arrival, as a big lolloping puppy, and generally took its lead from the cat as the established boss.

In Serbia the dog, now fully grown, had been King of the roost for a few weeks before the cat arrived and there has been a subtle change in the pecking order.  The cat still thinks it's boss, but the dog acts more as if they are now equals.  My Nephew is definitely the pack leader though.

His lad now has a little black dog of his own and both the cat and the Husky seem to have adopted it as a pet rather than a companion.

Gyppo
« Last Edit: October 16, 2017, 02:31:48 AM by Gyppo »

Offline fire-fly

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Re: Being an uncle is hazardous. From my 2008 archives.
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2017, 03:31:59 AM »
Aw that is nice he survived and is still there. Animals have their funny ways don't they.

My dogs all had to find their spots as more moved in too. Ruby refuses to be pushed off her throne