Author Topic: Half left  (Read 646 times)

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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Half left
« on: October 03, 2017, 04:17:59 AM »
Deep within the garden wall
you built a dwelling dark and small,
emerging from your cosy nest
you’d dash off on some mousey quest.
I’d watch you scamper to and fro
or sometimes stop and say hello.

A watchful little head I’d see,
keenly peering out at me
timorous and wary
‘cos I’m so huge and scary -
lumbering and giant-size
to tiny shiny beady eyes.

You had no way of knowing
I wasn’t fee fi fo-ing,
you didn’t need to be afraid,
I wouldn’t whack you with a spade.
In fact I think it’s fair to say
you brightened up a dreary day.

Now sadly you’re no more,
just scarlet giblets on the floor.
It saddens me to see you so
- half-eaten on the patio.
A pity that you never heard
that predatory cat or bird.

I think you got a bit blasé.
I know that may sound harsh to say
but I would never close my eyes
if something twenty times my size
was lurking in a bush or tree
just waiting to devour me.
You’d tremble when you saw me yet
you didn’t watch the real threat
which sadly led
to your being dead.

Farewell little outdoor friend
who came to such a gory end.


« Last Edit: October 16, 2017, 03:31:40 AM by Dylan di Vilde »
Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at –
https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/

Offline heidi52

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Re: Half left
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2017, 06:57:39 AM »
Thank you I enjoyed that much more than the described daily "offerings" my cat use to leave me. Unfortunately since she passed the little beady eyes are multiplying (I'd be happy to send some if you are low)


My proofreader's eye couldn't help spot a typo, and I know how meticulous you are so thought I'd point it out.

It think you got a bit blasé.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2017, 06:01:39 AM by heidi52 »

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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Re: Half left
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2017, 03:35:21 AM »
Thanks Heidi,

It needed a fresh pair of eyes. Speaking of which, I used to have a proofreader's eye. I kept it in a little leather pouch. But I think I must have left it on the bus one day.  

ps. Another mouse has moved in now thanks.  
Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at –
https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/

Offline Mark T

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Re: Half left
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2017, 11:17:40 AM »

A treat, as always. If you are collecting typos, there's also L1 S2.

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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Re: Half left
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2017, 03:36:10 AM »
Thankyou Mark. Yeah Heidi how did you miss that? Eh? kuh


Dammit I'm getting lax in my old age.
Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at –
https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/