Author Topic: Back To The Future: Part 4 SCENE  (Read 1161 times)

Offline Jake731

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Back To The Future: Part 4 SCENE
« on: June 26, 2017, 03:29:52 PM »
EXT. SALOON - DAY

Marty, with a shotgun in his hand, crouches to sneak around the saloon so
Thomas and his gang can't see him.
 
We SEE William in front of a building next to the saloon, ready to run.

CLOSE ON Marty as he approaches the gang's horses. He unties the ropes
from the wooden pole.

He cocks the shotgun, points it towards the sky. BOOM! He shoots the gun
into the air, making the horses go crazy.

SHOCKED, he panically throws down the gun and he and William start
racing away.

The gang comes out of the saloon to see what's going on.

Half the gang members try calming the horses, while the other
few members see Marty and William running.

EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

The gang members that see them, start shooting at them.

As Marty and William race further down the street, we HEAR another
gunshot. This one hits William in the leg.

He falls down.

Marty grabs him by the arms and drags him to a store close by.

They approach the store.

EXT. STORE - SAME (MOMENTS LATER)

Marty lets go of William for a moment and pushes the door open.

He grabs William and struggles to pull him into the store.

The gang is still shooting at them.

                                                                     MARTY
                                                             (DESPERATELY )
                                 Come on!!

He sees the gang getting closer, still shooting at them.

He gets more anxious.

                                                                    MARTY (CONT'D)
                                                             (DESPERATELY)
                                 Come on!!

He finally pulls William into the store.

INT. STORE - SAME (CONTINUOUS)

Marty drags William across the store to a corner. He wraps William's leg with a cloth.

He walks away for a moment to pull out his handheld radio, so William doesn't see
what he's doing.

He gets ahold of Doc on the radio.

                                                                    MARTY
                                                            (OVER RADIO)
                Doc! How much time until the Delorean is fixed?

                                                                    DOC (O.S.)
                                                               (OVER RADIO)
               Uhm.. I'd say about ten minutes!

                                                                    MARTY
                                                            (OVER RADIO)
               I don't have that much time! I'm getting shot at!


Offline hillwalker3000

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Re: Back To The Future: Part 4 SCENE
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2017, 07:38:42 AM »
I'm not sure what you expect us to make of this since, apart from 29 words of uninspiring dialogue, all we have is a blow-by-blow description of Marty and William being chased by a gang.

 ???

H3K

Offline Oceaxe

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Re: Back To The Future: Part 4 SCENE
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2017, 09:36:58 AM »
Why are you using characters created by someone else? I suppose you are trying to learn how to write film scripts but you're avoiding all the main things you need to learn; how to create character, how to establish a world through which your characters will move, how to set up a plot. Okay, we're in the cowboy world of BTTF, but we know that because we've seen the films not because of your writing.

This fragment is too slight to comment on.

Good luck, unless you are a troll.
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

W.B. Yeats (18651939)

Offline schuylar

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Re: Back To The Future: Part 4 SCENE
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2017, 08:44:32 PM »
Hey Jake,

It sounds like you're a lot more interested in description than dialog. Maybe this isn't the medium you're looking for?

Good luck

Offline BailsTheNoShellSnail

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Re: Back To The Future: Part 4 SCENE
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2017, 09:20:08 PM »
Hello Jake! I really liked back to the future when I was growing up. I found it to be a great trilogy, not a single bad movie in there!  :). I think this script would be fantastic as the wild western setting is a fantastic location for a back to the future film. However, I think there is a better alternative to the 'wild west' setting, how about setting it in Nazi occupation Germany during the year of 1939, using this setting you can explore anti-jew and racial tensions, whilst still using comedy to express it's central ideas. You can take note on how to make racial tension funny whilst still making a good point like other classic movies such as white chicks.

Offline BailsTheNoShellSnail

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Re: Back To The Future: Part 4 SCENE
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2017, 09:55:26 PM »
Hello Jake! I really liked back to the future when I was growing up. I found it to be a great trilogy, not a single bad movie in there!  :). I think this script would be fantastic as the wild western setting is a fantastic location for a back to the future film. However, I think there is a better alternative to the 'wild west' setting, how about setting it in Nazi occupation Germany during the year of 1939, using this setting you can explore anti-jew and racial tensions, whilst still using comedy to express it's central ideas. You can take note on how to make racial tension funny whilst still making a good point like other classic movies such as white chicks.

Further comments could be made on my comments, i had a brainstorm on some dialogue that would express this. I think some updated lingo could help the movie such as bellow:

Motry: Yo, Doc fam, this ain't so lit a time for dem white money nose jew niggazz
Doc: Yeah that Aldof brav ain't so nice to dem bank owners down the street
Morty: Yeah Fam
Doc: Yeah you expressed that entire situation better than i ever could
Morty: Lit af
Doc: Oi, Listen morty we ain't hit to spit no anti-Aldof ryhmes dog
Morty: What rhymes brah?
Doc: Lit
Morty: Then what we here for if it ain't for dem lit ryhmes?
Doc: We here to neck that Aldof dog
Morty: How we gonna do that? Lit?
Doc: Change history, We lure him in with that promise of white chicks dvds, but since he is the slimiest snake, we hit him hard in the gooch  with the white chick dvd
Morty: Yo fam that sound of the lit af yo man dawg.

I think it would really add to the character development and improve the storytelling, Get ready for a sequel! back to the future 5 here we come! Cheers fam.


 ;D ;D ;D

Offline BailsTheNoShellSnail

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Re: Back To The Future: Part 4 SCENE
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2017, 09:56:00 PM »
Further comments could be made on my comments, i had a brainstorm on some dialogue that would express this. I think some updated lingo could help the movie such as bellow:

Motry: Yo, Doc fam, this ain't so lit a time for dem white money nose jew niggazz
Doc: Yeah that Aldof brav ain't so nice to dem bank owners down the street
Morty: Yeah Fam
Doc: Yeah you expressed that entire situation better than i ever could
Morty: Lit af
Doc: Oi, Listen morty we ain't hit to spit no anti-Aldof ryhmes dog
Morty: What rhymes brah?
Doc: Lit
Morty: Then what we here for if it ain't for dem lit ryhmes?
Doc: We here to neck that Aldof dog
Morty: How we gonna do that? Lit?
Doc: Change history, We lure him in with that promise of white chicks dvds, but since he is the slimiest snake, we hit him hard in the gooch  with the white chick dvd
Morty: Yo fam that sound of the lit af yo man dawg.

I think it would really add to the character development and improve the storytelling, Get ready for a sequel! back to the future 5 here we come! Cheers fam.


 ;D ;D ;D


By the way a gooch is the skin between your scrotum and asshole