Author Topic: In need of help  (Read 732 times)

Offline Prisoner24601

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 1
    • View Profile
In need of help
« on: May 18, 2017, 03:02:13 PM »
Trying an idea for a story, would really appreciate any suggestions or opinions. xxx ;)

Context; A young German boy grows into a man during ww2.  Forced to part-take in the segregation of the Jewish people he meets a girl his age.  Although being told that the Jews were one of his enemies he knows that he will never meet someone like her again.  Upon learning that she is to be moved to the concentration camps he smuggles her out of the ghetto one night.  The girl manages to escape but he is caught and considered an enemy of the state.  Forced to face the same punishment as the innocent Jews he learns more about their faith and is inspired by their resilience despite the impending doom. 

Characters so far;

Name; Alfred (Nickname Alfie – young, Al – old) Fischer
Born; Greifswald, August 1920
Context of character; A young German boy grows into a man during ww2. 

Name; Miriam (No last name)
Born; Frankfurt, January 1921
Context of character; A young German (Jewish) girl who grows into a woman during ww2.

Name; Anna Fischer
Born; Greifswald, May 1900
Context of character; Mother of Alfred, wife of a fisherman.  Disagrees with Alfred joining the Nazi youth

Name; Richard Fischer
Born; Greifswald, June 1898
Context of character; Father of Alfred, a fisherman.  Agrees with Alfred joining the Nazi youth, makes him more of a man

Offline Laura H

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 34432
    • View Profile
Re: In need of help
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2017, 06:12:21 PM »
Hi Prisoner,

I moved your post to the questions board where you may be more likely to get responses.

Welcome to MWC -  do check out our guidelines http://mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=7415.0

Enjoy your time on the forum,

Laura H
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou

“Don't be like the rest of them, darling.” ― Eudora Welty

Offline Annmarie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3547
  • Got my kinky boots on. Watch out!
    • View Profile
Re: In need of help
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2017, 05:49:39 AM »
The story could work out fine, but be warned that it's quite standard as far as WW2/Holocaust plots go. You might need to put a fresh spin on the story itself, or the prose and character development has to be stunning enough to cover for the story situation being rather stale.

Not sure if you intend this as a short story or a novel (the plot sounds like an epic type thing spread over some years), but I'd say keep thinking about it, brainstorm lots of ideas and see if you hit on something fresh and unexpected.

ps I love your handle, Prisoner 24601.  :)

Work hard. Believe. Take a chance.

hillwalker3000

  • Guest
Re: In need of help
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2017, 12:32:05 PM »
It's difficult offering advice regarding someone's idea - a little like an artist asking advice about a subject he intends painting. It all depends on whether he can paint or not.

I agree that the plot sounds formulaic - German male falls in love with a Jewish female during the Second World War and suffers a conflict of conscience. Does he turn his back on the Fatherland and its ideals for love?

Ultimately, it depends on how well you can write - and how you intend handling the plot. Do you have an original take on the situation that will make your novel different to the others ploughing the same furrow? I'll admit that I'm not exactly thrilled with the idea of reading about how a non-Jew embraces Judaism and becomes inspired by the resilience of the Jews despite their impending doom. It's a little obvious and hardly engrossing. But that's me - I like to be entertained as well as challenged when reading a novel.

On a separate note - I don't understand why you included the detailed biographies of your main characters on here. We learn about people from the way they behave rather than where they were born, etc.

Good luck,

Phil

Offline johnnyh2

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 638
  • Characters I make from clay
    • View Profile
    • Johnny Heath's World
Re: In need of help
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2017, 02:46:44 PM »
You can think and plan forever.

Just write the story.

It might be crap. It might be brilliant. Thing is, even if it's brilliant, some people will think it's crap, and if it's not very good, some folk'll really like it.

Write your story. Get a few chapters down then see how you feel about it. If you hate it, start again. If you love it, cary on.

Write your story.
www.mindmylegs.simplesite.com

Offline Emery

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 810
    • View Profile
Re: In need of help
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2017, 03:39:00 PM »
Love story set in WWII--sure it could work. It's worked a lot. I agree with the others, seems a bit hackneyed, but I'm not sure that's all that important. Love stories are all formulaic and clichéd for the most part, it's how the author approaches the scenes and genre. There's going to be a meeting, a first kiss, a breakup, a declaration of love, a third party interloper. The MC will either get his love or not, but along the way will learn something about him or herself.

If you aren't dealing with a high concept type genre, most of these things will seem fine. Some will seem great. But, at the end of the day, it's about how you've written the story.

If you're debating, put down 2-4 thousand words and see.
All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath.
-F. Scott Fitzgerald