So there am I,
just a blameless guy,
when this teeny tiny fly
flies straight in my eye!
Oh my,
sez I,
you effing fly.
In a mirror nearby
I spot the irritating fly
drowning in my runny eye.
Gingerly I try
to wipe and swipe and poke and pry.
It proves elusive, dead or shy.
Frustrations start to multiply,
I’m crankier than Captain Bligh,
I’ll get you effing fly, I cry,
loudly wondering why
it had to pick my effing eye
in which to go and effing die.
Now twenty minutes on I sigh,
peering at the effing fly,
extricated, high and dry.
Listen, effing fly, growls I, –
you’re gutsy, that I can’t deny,
but I’m a unforgiving guy
and if you mess with such as I,
I’ll hunt you down and you will die.
For I can kill you with my eye.
My fingertip held briefly nigh,
I flick the tiny corpse goodbye.
Based on a true story.
No creatures were harmed during the events described.
Apart from the fly I killed.
And yes I’d do it again.
